Page 98 of While You Were Trending

“But—”

“No. You’re not doing that to yourself.”

A knot deep inside my gut unfurls, and I gasp in a full, deep breath of relief while more thunder echoes outside.

Alex used to tell me they were just cameras.

That I didn’t have to give my power to them.

That we could use them the same way they used us.

He meant well, but I don’t—I can’t—I’m not strong enough for that.

I wasn’t when I was dating him, and I’m still not today.

I’m still too weak.

That part of me—the part of me that wants to take videos and pictures with my friends and share them with my family—will never be put back together right again.

Not after my childhood, compounded by what I did at Alex’s wedding.

“It’s not because you can’t,” Declan murmurs into my hair. “You have an unfair disadvantage. No one sees you. They see what they expect to see after that fucking show.”

He needs to stop saying all of the right things because the more he says the right things, the more I think the goosebumps and the flutters and thinking about his smile aren’t a fluke.

“Other people handle the hate all the time,” I say. “Yougot hate. You’re fine.”

“I chose it as an adult. And I had a lot of media training and an amazing support system in the team and my family.”

The steady beat of his heart, coupled with the unyielding grip he has on me and his dog pressed up against me too, is helping ease my panic attack.

He’s right.

Mabel will know what to do.

She’ll probably say the same thing Declan said.

That the note indicates clear intent for us to keep the money.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

Declan Fox is the last person I ever would’ve expected to understand my panic attacks.

The even more last person I would’ve thought would hug me through it.

But he’s been—he’s been my friend.

For all that he was an uncomfortable presence in the background of my time dating Alex, he’s been a steady, kind presence this week.

“Anytime,” he whispers, his breath tickling my scalp and sending a shiver from my neck down to my tailbone as I realize just how close we are.

Thunder booms again, and I flinch.

He presses a kiss to my hair.

Doesn’t tell me not to be a baby, that it’s just a little thunder.

Doesn’t tell me it’ll be okay either.