Page 161 of While You Were Trending

I want to play hockey again and know that Ginny’s in the stands wearing my jersey and cheering for me.

I want our lives to line up.

I want Alex to understand that things happen.

And I don’t see how any of it’s possible. Not long-term.

But she’s stayed with me in the apartment here the past two nights, and we have a date this weekend.

So that’s what I’ll cling to.

The moments I get.

The memories I’ll cherish.

And hopefully, when she looks back on me being here, she’ll be glad for the time we had together.

Hopefully she’ll be stronger when I’m gone because I was here.

If I can’t have her—and for all the hope this past weekend has given me, I know in my heart that she’ll never see me the way I see her—then I hope I at least made a positive difference in her life.

It’s what you wish for the people you love.

She pauses next to me as the group starts to scatter.

“I knew you didn’t do it.” She slips her hand into mine and squeezes.

Lightning crackles up my arm, straight to that hopeless organ in my chest.

I squeeze back, but she’s already pulling her hand away.

I love you, I think to myself as she hustles to catch up to Mabel, skirt bouncing.

Hair bouncing too.

I give myself a minute to live in the memories we’re making of kissing, touching, sex, whispered confessions, smiles and laughs and arguments, but then I pull myself up and head for the barn.

There’s work to do.

My excuse to stay here that will end far too soon.

31

HE’S ALL THAT

Ginny

I’min the kitchen setting out the cheese platter that arrives Tuesday afternoon when Declan texts.

Can I come in?

I smile at the accompanying picture of Flow staring forlornly at the front door, and then I text back.

Only if you promise not to drool on the floor. We just cleaned it.

A rusty laugh drifts in from the window above the sink, and I smile bigger at Declan’s response.

Flow won’t. But I can’t make any promises for myself. What are you wearing?