Page 112 of While You Were Trending

That he has his own personal seal, which is simple and honestly funny, the face of a grinning fox in the middle of a simple silver circle, and not at all the ostentatious kind my mother would use.

I don’t like what thinking about his attention to detail is doing to my belly and my chest.

Maybe his mom sent it to him, and it’s the only paper he had.

While he’s traveling.

With minimal extra stuff beyond clothes and a computer and a phone and his dog’s supplies.

But he has a wax seal that he took the time to use.

“You can open it later,” Mabel says softly. “Or don’t open it at all. You know I won’t judge you for it, and no one else knows he asked me to give it to you.”

I shake my head and break the seal on the flap, ignoring the way my heart is suddenly beating faster.

Inside is a thick ivory linen notecard with an embossed straight-edge frame.

Strong handwriting in thick black ink decorates the inside, front and back.

It’s much neater than the signature he would scribble on pucks and headshots and the backs of jerseys.

Ginny–

I’ve been lyingto myself, and to you. Watching you this past week with your family, with your friends—you’re still the same Ginny I remember, and I still like you. You’re strong and bright and generous, always ready to give your whole heart to the people around you.

But that was never why I liked you. I’ve always liked you because you could’ve taken the easy path and leaned in to what the world believed you to be for your own fame and your own profit, but you’ve stayed true to the beliefs you’ve developed on your own about what’s right, what’s wrong, and how you want to live.

You work harder every day to be the person you want to be than I’ve ever had to work at anything, and I have an undying respect, admiration, and appreciation for you.

You’ve held my heart captive since you introduced yourself with that bright smile and your self-aware “Hi, I hope I can prove I’m not what you expect me to be,” which you’ve doneover and over and over again, whether at your best or at your lowest.

But I know I’m not what you want, and I know I was out of line yesterday. I promise to keep my distance whenever I’m around for filming. I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have or be one more complication in your life that you don’t need.

You deserve all good things in life, and I hope you find everything you’re searching for.

Best,

Declan

p.s.Flow would still love to see you anytime you’d like to see her. It’s not her fault she’s stuck with me.

I read it three times,my pulse ratcheting up higher and higher until I’m rubbing my breastbone as I hand it to Mabel and let her read it too.

She meets my gaze when she’s done. “You okay?”

“No.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

She nods. “Here if you need me.”

I grab her in a hug. “He doesn’t really know me.”

She squeezes me back tighter and doesn’t tell me I’m wrong.

That I’m too close to myself to see what he sees.