Page 89 of Consuming Logan

A new anger rose in Ava. She’d forgotten about the false complaint Maribelle instigated because Ava refused to provide refreshments from the stock reserved for patients.

“I’ve miscalculated Logan’s love for you for some time now. The way I have treated you has damaged my relationship with my sons.” Meeting Ava eye to eye, Maribelle Masters said, “I am sorry. I truly apologize for my behavior.”

For a second, Ava stood mute, unable to respond to an apology she never hoped to receive.

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because my boys deserve to be happy. It’s not easy growing up in a household where your mother starts the day with a glass of bourbon and Xanax.”

Maribelle’s skin paled. Everyone knew of her daily indulgence, but in Shell Cove society, personal flaws weren’t mentioned in public. In fact, they were ignored. “When Logan was two, I had my first admission to an inpatient alcohol rehabilitation facility. Logan raged out of control the day I left. His father had to sedate him that night. I think I’m the real reason he doesn’t trust women. Why he’s so afraid the women he gives his heart to will leave him. Marianne came and took care of him while Robert Lee worked,” she gave a humorless laugh. “When I returned, he didn’t know I was his mother. Marianne bought Logan his first toy medical play set. She was his first make believe patient.”

“She sounds like a good sister to have,” Ava said.

“Better than me,” Maribelle gave a weak smile. “When I moved back home, Logan had changed. He hugged me, but with a leery approach. Like I was a stranger,” she said in a far-off voice. “Marianne and Robert let my son forget me,” she cried. “I allowed my rage at them to drive me back to the bottle. Robert threatened to file for a divorce. I told him to do it.”

Ava couldn’t imagine the pain Maribelle must have experienced viewing her life through sober eyes. She had not doubt that a two-year-old Logan loved his mother. Most likely, Maribelle was the one who felt unsure of her place in the family following rehabilitation.

“Logan loves you,” Ava said. Ava thought of her babies. How hard it must have been for Maribelle to see a young Logan in pain.

“Logan went to Marianne. I went to rehab. Robert went to Ireland. He came back with another son. And me,” she mused, “I came back with both guns blazing at my betrayers. I resented Marianne for years for taking my son from me. She’s a doctor who never drank. And, I was a housewife who couldn’t keep her husband or stay sober. Ironic really, that Logan is the best of her and the worst of me.”

Now that surprised Ava.

“Why are you sharing this with me now?” Had Maribelle given up alcohol again? She prayed to God that she had. “Has something else happened?”

“Too much,” she whispered. “I think I’ve lost the one man, the only man that I’ve ever loved. I don’t want the same thing to happen with Logan. I wish sometimes he was more like his father and less like me. He’s stubborn, bullheaded, ambitious, and so scared that he’s going to lose the person that owns his heart. And that’s my fault.”

“I don’t think you should be telling me—,”

Maribelle smiled and lifted a hand in protest. Ava stopped talking. Might as well let her get it all off her chest because she wouldn’t give her another opportunity.

“Now back to Brooke. At first, you reminded me of her.”

Great. Not only did Logan not value her place in his life, she was a substitute for his dead lover.

“I think he feels shame that he could never fully make her love him. To Logan, committed love equals protection. He carries the guilt, that somehow, he failed her. Her infidelity, her hiding and sneaking around behind his back wounded his pride. Brooke not allowing him to protect her is what ultimately killed her.”

“Oh my God, I can’t imagine.”

The pain Logan must have dealt with for years had to be crippling. How can one man bear so much responsibility for sin that was never his own?

“Why are you telling me this now? Logan, Logan and I are not at a place where this information can heal us.”

“I believe you can give him another chance. Please, forgive him.”

“I don’t know that I can. I want more for my life and for my children’s lives. Logan’s career will always come first. He told me so himself.”

“But it is not true. His career is all about him saving Brooke over and over again. Following the accident, Brooke lay in an intensive care unit, body broken and riddled with road debris.”

“Her wounds got infected. It spread through her blood stream into her bones. He felt so helpless at her bedside holding onto her lifeless body. He never wanted that to happen to anyone else again. He started studying wounds.”

Shock must have shone on Ava’s face. Tyson stood unmoving. Maribelle had his attention too. So, Logan’s drive, his research had stemmed from Brooke’s accident?

He must’ve been terrified to learn that she was pregnant especially following the attack. Why hadn’t he told her this part of the story? But then Ava knew the answer. Logan was a protector and she was his to protect.

“I don’t want him to be like me. To realize what he had, after they are gone, is a high price to pay. He’s lost so much already. Ava,” tears swam in Maribelle’s eyes, “marry my son.”

Ava shook her head so sorry that at the end of all things, Maribelle would be her ally. “I would lie to you.”