Page 52 of Consuming Logan

He sighed, letting his hands slip for her shoulders. “You’re right.”

She smiled at his admission. “Why are you so afraid for this baby, Logan?”

Logan took her hands in his, holding on. He studied her face. Hopeful she’d understand why he’d kept this secret for years. He eyed her closely, ready to comfort her or defend himself if she lost it on him.

“I was a dull blade with love before you, Ava,” he exhaled, the sound harsh in the stillness. “I can’t lose you.”

Ava’s brow furrowed, as if she doubted his words. “I’m healthy. The pregnancy is going well. You’re my strong tower, Logan Masters” she said placing a hand to his cheek, stroking his scruff. “You’re perfect in my eyes. Whatever it is, you won’t lose me.”

He should had known she’d decipher the true meaning behind his words.

“Tell me what’s really bothering you, Logan.”

Her eyes pleaded with him. Logan scrubbed a hand over his face before sawing the lid off the vault containing his deepest failure. “Brooke was four months pregnant with my daughter when she died.”

Ava gasped. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”

Logan brushed his finger across her belly. “I should’ve been able to save them.”

Ava jerked as if he’d struck her.

“No. You are not at fault, Logan.” she protested. It was her turn to grip his shoulders and give him a shake. “The accident. The miscarriage. Brooke’s death. In that moment you were not her doctor. You stayed by her side.”

He hauled Ava up into his arms. Pulling her into his chest, burying his nose in her hair. For so long he’d viewed his inability to save Brooke and the baby as his ultimate sin. What good were his skills if he couldn’t save his own child? They stayed locked together, time and old hurts fading.

Logan stroked his hands down her back, feeling her slender thick waist and firm backside. His mind drifted away from the past, focusing on the woman in his arms. A familiar and welcomed lust stirred his loins.

“Thank you for understanding why I never told you the full story.”

She leaned away, regarding him. “What I said was, you were not at fault.”

Logan frowned. “Same thing.”

She raised one index finger. “Not even close.”

Slowly she increased the distance, moving closer to the edge of the bed.

“You are the man who can’t tolerate secrets” she breathed, “yet, you kept a child conceived with your former fiancée a secret.”

When he reached for her, Ava scrambled backyards on her hands away from him.

“Come here, Ava,” he said, his voice more stern than he intended.

“No,” she said, getting to her feet. “I meant what I said. You are blameless in Brooke’s death. You’ve had time to process all the events surrounding that part of your life. I haven’t.”

He sat up, leaning towards her. “Meaning?”

“It means, Logan. I’m going to need space to process what you’ve told me.”

Logan’s pulse ramped up while his erection exited the expressway. Damn it. “How much time and space are we talking?” Ava walked out the room without a response. Should he have kept his mouth shut?

Chapter 19

Ava clamped one hand over her mouth, quelling the rising tide of bile. Nausea tossed her stomach like a tiny boat in a big ocean. Or was it the worried look in Logan’s eyes. Tuesday ushered in a slew of unanticipated events. The most important, her morning sickness. She breathed in through her mouth, the sharp scent of artificial citrus clung to the air adding to her discomfort

“I’m sorry,” Logan muttered.

Was he still apologizing for keeping her in the dark or her rebellious belly? After the illusion of being the first woman to carry Logan’s child faded, Ava tried to see the discussion from his point of view. She tried to imagine the pain he must have felt. To lose the woman he loved and his child. He’d been young and the loss devastating. His resiliency amazed her. But she didn’t excuse his decision to hide such an important part of his life from her.