Page 12 of The Score

"Yeah. Of course, but… "

"Let's take the next year to do a few things that will make you happy. On purpose. For you, but also to tell your dad we're going on adventures. Your parents would love it. It doesn't have to be a big list. It will help."

I chew the inside of my lip. Temptation coats my mouth, but I'm not ready to jump.

"Are you doing a bucket list with me?" I ask.

"My list would be one item long, so no. I'll just help you with yours. That will make me happy, too."

I sigh. "I guess all you're missing is romance."

I stare out to the lights, the empty fire pit, and the black expanse of the lake behind it. What Bear is placing at my feet is a taste of freedom. I know him well enough to expect he has a plan and is slowly pulling me into it. Anticipation and excitement entwine in my stomach, giving me a dizzying feeling like I'm about to drop on a rollercoaster.

"Pen," he whispers. "What do you want the most?"

I lick my bottom lip. I'm fully burnt out at work, trapped between wanting to help the community and being unable to truly make things better for anyone. I'm sad for my dad. The fragility of life appears front and center. On my rough days, I wonder how long I can count on Bear toalwaysbe there the way he has been. Will my life feel the same when he meets the one person who can fulfill his grand, mystery checklist, and he finally falls head-over-heels in love? When he's having his best, married, dad life one day?

Yeah, a bucket list of things that will make my life better sounds about right. It will give me something to focus on. Little achievable goals that will help me have fun and remember the purpose of being alive. A way to balance things out, while I figure out how to help my parents through all of this as much as possible.

I nod. "I want to be swarmed by puppies. I want a piggy back ride. I want to be at a pipe organ concert where I feel like the building is singing to me. I want to do stuff that feels dangerous— like bungee jumping."

"Done. But bungee jumping? A piggy back ride?"

"Don't judge me!" I laugh.

He shakes his head like he doesn't fully understand me but is trying to accept my quirks.

"All right. Stay here." He goes around the car and opens my door. "Let's start right now. Stand on the side of the car and hang on."

He gives me his back. The car is a big half-tank, large enough to accommodate his height and size. His round butt is right in front of me and I have to fight the intrusive thought of giving it a slap. Maybe even a playful squeeze.

I shake my head. "Are you serious?"

"I'm not standing here with my back to you for no reason, Pen."

"You're giving me a piggy back ride."

Doubt is hidden in my tone, coated in disbelief. Bear is huge and solid and soft in so many wonderful ways. I wouldn't be surprised if he could do it, but I've never let myself think about it.

"All the way to the firepit." He turns half way, just enough to speak more easily with me and give me his version of a stern look. "Then we're going to bring our stuff in, then make a fire. We're going to have a nice evening."

I smirk to hide a smile. "Anything else, Papa Bear?"

"And you're going to enjoy every second of it." His voice is full of authority.

I ignore the thrill that runs down my spine.

"Yes, sir." I salute him like he's given me my marching orders. "Now scoot. I need a bit more room here."

It takes some maneuvering, but I find a position on the running board that brings me closer to his height. Man, Bear has always been a big guy but, right now, his back seems like a wall. I place my hands on his shoulders for leverage, but my palms and fingers barely cover the square footage.

"So…" I lick my bottom lip. "Do I just… jump?"

"Come on. Don't stall."

"I'm not stalling!"

I'm fighting the certainty that our friends would get a kick out of the situation, and make more than a couple of jokes about how I'm about to climb him like a tree.