Page 48 of A Bittersweet Summer

“I’m surprised!” I say, from where I now sit next to her on the couch. I’m vaguely aware of Gus’s hand on her shoulder. It’s as if he’s trying to keep her there—like she’s a grounding presence. It makes me smile. “He usually tries to hide me away. Did he tell you he once locked me in a closet when we were kids?”

“No!” she says on a laugh. “Why would he do that?”

I shrug. “Apparently, there wasn’t a lot of ice cream left in the freezer, and he wanted to make sure he had whatever was in there to himself.”

“How cruel!” she says, but there’s no real bite to the words.

When I check the time, I realize that we have about five minutes to walk the length of the driveway to the barn. I type a message to Wes.

Me:I need to get everyone walking up the drive. Be there in exactly six minutes.

His response is almost instant.

Wes:That’s one minute late.

Me:Sorry to keep you waiting.

Wes:I don’t mind waiting for you.

My stomach dips at the message, acting completely irrationally as I pocket my phone.

“We should get going,” I announce, drawing my friend’s attention.

“So,” Lennon starts, “what is it we are doing exactly?”

I shrug. “No idea. Wesley planned it and said it would be fun. I recommended swimming in the pond, but it’s way too cold. I guess we will find out when we get to the trails.”

“The trails?” Lennon questions. “Cass, have you ever heard of an Alpine Divorce?”

“No.”

“You should Google it.”

Ellis strides up next to me and nudges my shoulder. “Don’t do that. Lennon’s being dramatic and rude.” Ellis smiles, her hand touching my arm. “I’m certain Wes isn’t taking us into the woods to abandon us and leave us for dead.”

My eyes widen. “Is that what that is?” I question.

“Apparently, it’s a thing. If you ever watched the videos we sent in the group chat, you’d know we did a whole deep dive on this a few days ago.”

I shake my head, chuckling. “You know I get behind on that while I’m working the farm. I think you should be proud of me for kicking my doomscrolling habit.”

When we all step outside, the overcast sky bathes the gravel road in soft blue and gray. The grass looks vibrant despite the dreary weather—as if it’s pleading with the skies to release another one of those nourishing spring rains.

I put my hands in my sweatshirt, thankful I took the text about being willing to get muddy very seriously.

Noah and Griffin get into some random argument, wrestling out ahead of us as Lennon asks Gus and Megan a million questions.

Ellis matches her steps to mine, brushing the hair out of her face when the wind blows. “It’s nice to meet some of your family,” she says, and I offer a wan smile.

Guilt eats at me, though I’m sure she didn’t mean to press the bruise. It doesn’t change the pain, though.

I’m watching real-time as my brother becomes his own person, watching all the ways in which he is so capable of living his own life, and I’ve been hiding him away.

It hurts to know how he’s confided in me all growing up, saying he hated being treated differently from everyone else. I hate realizing I’m one of the ones who was doing that—even if it wasn’t as obvious.

“I’m glad too,” I add, and mean it. “My family dynamic is all over the place. I try to avoid having to explain everything, you know?”

Ellis sighs. “I get that,” she agrees as she looks out over the pond field. “I don’t like starting conversations withmy mom died when I was thirteen. So, I think I can relate to that a bit.”