Page 52 of Chasing Hope

Faster.

Sorry, Evie, but I don’t believe you.

Try to outrun her.

Sorry, Evie, but I don’t believe you.

Push harder.

Sorry, Evie, but I don’t believe you.

Try to block her out.

Sorry, Evie, but I don’t believe you.

I don’t believe you.

I don’t believe you.

I.

Don’t.

Believe.

You.

Through my aching legs, blistered feet, and burning lungs, nothing surpasses the pain radiating in my heart.

That, and the undeniable truth—he’s winning.

Every day that goes by that people don’t believe me, he wins.

Every day that goes by that I remain silent, he wins.

Every day that goes by where my mother takeshisside, he wins.

I’ve never entertained the thought of hurting another human being, but I understand it now. I understand how people can be pushed to their limits. How it drives you mad when someone robs another’s soul, only to walk away without consequences.

Injustice is real.

Evil is well and truly alive.

Depravity lives in the hearts of those with the kindest smiles.

But I know that if I spoke up for myself, I’d lose everything.

I’ve already lost my mom. What if I lost Caleb, too?

If another person told me they don’t believe me, it wouldn’t just be a week of not being able to leave my bed. I think it would destroy me beyond repair. And if Caleb didn’t believe me, that would not only break me, it would kill me.

Every time her voice loops through my head, it’s as if my memories rise in protest, conjuring up a moment to dispute her. As if my own brain needs to remind itself that it did, in fact, happen.

My mind doesn’t want me to forget again. It wants me to keep fighting, despite feeling like I have no fight left.

And it seems my body is on the same wavelength.

My feet stop, my legs slowing before I move to the side and lie down on the grass, my chest heaving. Matteo flops down beside me, his heavy breathing in sync with mine.