Page 105 of Chasing Hope

Because I don’t want to lose him—can’tlose him. Not after everything I’ve already lost.

If I no longer had him as a hiking partner, if I no longer could taste his amazing food or see his head pop into my room while he tried to entice me out of said room or enjoy another one of his latte artworks, I’d become unbearably sad.

Just the thought of it has my chest painfully constricting.

I don’t realize I’m rubbing it until Matteo speaks up, his hand on my thigh a balm and a grenade all in one, the simple touch sending me scattering into a million pieces.

“Dove, you okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” I hum. “Of course.”

But my pitch is too high, and I still can’t look at him.

The Uber pulls into Grayson’s driveway, the trees lining the road soothing something within my racing, anxious mind. Until Matteo removes his hand and I feel like I’m melting into a puddle of sadness.

The car has barely rolled to a stop before Matteo is flinging himself out of the car. At first, my heart sinks, dropping like a dead weight.Is he that desperate to get away from me?Then, my door opens, and for the first time since he sat me on hislap, my eyes lift and gaze into the soul of the boy I have forbidden myself to love.

I lose my breath all over again.

Matteo’s smiling, one so wide and bright it’s disarming, drawing me deep into the wildness of his forest until I’m spinning around in circles, lost.

A part of me never wants to be found.

Until I realizewhyhe’s smiling.

This fucker knows I’m a mess.

He knows and he’ssmilingabout it.

I can feel the spark of anger rising, but it dies a quick death because I’ve always been a sucker for the sight.

Wearing black loose jeans and a deep navy dress shirt, Matteo holds out his hand for me. The moment I slide mine into his, the tether between us pulls like never before. My body is suddenly engulfed in flames, my skin scorching.

His eyes seem to twinkle. “You look beautiful.”

He closes the car door behind me, never letting go of my hand as I whisper, “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Kieran sent a follow-up message to Valenti, informing us of the dress code. I decided to go with the nicest dress in my closet, which there wasn’t a lot to choose from because I still haven’t unpacked, but the buttery-soft, floor-length yellow dress is to die for. It was inspired by the iconic dress Andy wore inHow to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.With my blonde hair twisted in a low bun, the resemblance is astounding. It almost revived my romance-movie-loving heart—almost.

Keeping my hand in his, Matteo leads me to the open front door. The music flowing out and the cheers and laughter has anticipation humming through my veins.

We should talk. I know we should.

And despite how much I want to stay in limbo before he no doubt rips out my heart, I decide we can have this one night. This one night ofwhat ifs, a night where I can let my imagination run rampant, allow the fantasy I’ve had since I was little to flourish in my mind onceagain.

The tension between us, though, is palpable, so much so you could cut it with a knife.

Cindy will sniff the tension out before I even get the chance to say hello.

Think of the charming devil and she appears.

Cindy waltzes into my line of sight.

She looks from our joined hands to our faces, back and forth like a tennis match, before a wicked smirk graces her lips.

Removing my hand from Matteo’s feels like a cardinal sin, especially as his brows drop into a frown. Giving him a small smile, I move to meet Cindy, intervening before she asks whatever is brewing in her head.

“Did you two?—”