Page 73 of Lyric Squared

“I don’t know, Keanu. Maybe because I feel like I’m letting the people I love down again.”

“Then, let’s nip it in the bud right now so that you’re not feeling so burdened, huh?”

I shoved my hand into the pocket of my sweats, bypassing the small pieces of candy I’d collected throughout the day and grabbing my cell. When it was close enough to my face, itunlocked automatically. When I accessed my call log, both Luca and Laike’s contacts appeared several times.

“What are you doing, Keanu?”

“What you’re too afraid to do. There’s absolutely no reason you should feel burdened by this shit. Until you let your people know what’s up, you’ll feel this way. I don’t like it. You’re not giving us a chance to survive. Our foundation is being built off a lie. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you either. You deserve to be loved out loud, Lyric. Not in private.”

“Please don’t do that. I’m begging you,” she pleaded.

With a shake of my head, I squeeze the phone in my hand until it began to hurt. The lack of faith that she had in me – in us – was disheartening.

“I agree with everything you’ve said, but to my credit, I’ve never and will never bring anything to my brothers’ attention until I knew that it would be something more than just lust and infatuation or whatever. They didn’t learn about Chauncey until we’d been dating for three months. They only met Collin because we happened to be the same place at the same time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have known anything about him for another few months. Just give us some time, Keanu. It’s only been a few days. Give me time to adjust. Give us time to make sure that we’re destined for more than an unbreakable bond that we built over the years as friends. That’s fair. Fair to you and to me. It’s just shitty, but it is fair.”

Loosening the grip on my cell, I allowed her words to sink in. They made perfect sense, but there were two people that I loved like blood that would be affected by the decision we were making and that just didn’t sit well with me.

“Please.”

She closed the gap between us, rubbing my arm as she repeated herself.

“Please, Keanu.”

“When you’re ready to grow the fuck up and allow me to be the nigga you deserve, hit me up. Until then, we’re putting this shit on ice.”

Without waiting for another word to fall from her pretty lips, I turned my back and headed for the door. I knew that if I stood and watched her crumble or more words to flow, I wouldn’t have the strength to leave. Lyric was magnetic and trying to pull away from her was the most complicated thing I’d ever done in my life. I just couldn’t. So, making it to my whip was progress that I was appreciative of.

The smell of rubber was prominent in the air as I mashed the gas with one thing in mind – getting the hell out of dodge. Pooh Shiesty pumped through the speakers, intensifying whatever feeling I was struggling with at the moment. As I bobbed my head to the sick beat, the blood I’d drawn from gnawing on my inner jaw sat on my tastebuds.

Sixty miles on the suburban streets of Huffington Hills wasn’t normal activity for me, but this wasn’t a normal night, either. It was one that I’d thought would end with skin-to-skin contact, forehead kisses, heavy breathing, and moon bathing. Instead, it would be ending with smoke-filled lungs and drunken slurs. It wasn’t ideal, but it was reality.

I madeit inside my home and to my bar in a flash. The brown liquid burned my throat on the way down. Once it reached my belly, it reminded me of the hunger I felt while on my way to The Hills. The smell of garlic and roasted meat that came from Lyric’s kitchen was still fresh on my mind. I could taste the foodshe’d prepared on the tip of my tongue, and I wasn’t even sure what it was.

She even cooked for this nigga, I fumed. Making my way to the kitchen had never been more difficult. I rounded the bar and crossed the threshold with the taste of blood in my mouth, and as quickly as I’d gone in, I wanted to leave. There was so much to eat, too much almost, but everything needed to be cooked.

With my stomach touching my back, I didn’t have time to cook shit. I didn’t want to cook anything, either. Lyric had already done so. I wanted whatever the fuck she was having, but I settled for a cup of noodles that I planned to drown in hot sauce.

I filled the cup with water and placed it in the microwave on top of a few paper towels to soak up the water that boiled over the top. By thirty second increments, I increased the time on the microwave until four minutes appeared. It might’ve been easier to just tap the four for a quick start, but I was so accustomed to doing it the way I had.

While my noodles were warming, I sparked one of the four blunts I’d rolled before leaving the house, knowing that I wouldn’t have the energy to do so when I returned. I had too much ripping and running to do for the day, which I knew would leave me exhausted. Though I hadn’t expected to pull up on Lyric and ole boy, that only added to my exhaustion.

I took the steps two by two, ready to undress and get a bit more comfortable for the night. My buzzing cell vibrated against my leg in the pocket of my pants. I removed it, took a good look at the screen to find an unsaved number dancing across the screen. Though I hated answering calls from unsaved numbers, since the incident with my brother, I was a bit more inclined to.

That unknown caller had saved my brother a life of turmoil. Hadn’t I answered it then he might’ve been the one going to jail that night, the minute he left the block. The police were waitingin the cut and had seen us pulling off the block. Though Kale had left days prior headed back to school, I was still worried about him. I always worried about him.

“Yeah,” I answered, finally reaching my bedroom where I began to strip.

“Keanu, can we–” Lyric began to speak.

It wasn’t until then that I realized I’d been all up in her mix and hadn’t even secured her digits. Calling her while she was away from me all day didn’t cross my mind because the minute I started missing her, I went to get her. Too bad, she was preoccupied. The thought occurring again pissed me off a little more.

“How’d you get my number?” I interrupted, cutting her off from whatever she was about to say. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d be upset by the question I’d just asked but that was my intention.

“Keanu, are you serious right now?”

When I didn’t respond, she understood just how serious I was.

“I took it from Laike’s phone earlier today when I found myself missing you. I planned to call you tonight.”