Page 21 of The Pakhan's Secret Baby

7

EMORY

I pull my coat tighter and keep my head down as I walk toward Irina’s apartment.

Every shadow makes my stomach drop.

I glance over my shoulder every few steps and scan the street behind me, but I don't see anyone following.

The bare trees stand like skeletons against the gunmetal sky.

Wind whips between them and stings my face as I shove my hands deeper into my pockets and keep moving.

It's not like I tried to hide from him for all this time, though I made it a point to not venture into his known territory for a reason.

When I found out I was pregnant it was almost traumatic.

Knowing I slept with him was one thing, but having his baby left me without a single person in the world to talk to.

No one knew it was a Krasnov baby, not even Batya, and I kept it that way.

My hands shake as I knock on Irina's door and push away the thoughts of the past. I don't even know if Rashid saw me with Lex.

I'm being paranoid for no reason.

For all I know, he just wants to try to kindle something with me because he has fond memories of that night.

I have them too, but I'm not stupid enough to ever want to chase that down.

He's more dangerous than the men my father works for.

Irina opens it right away with Lex on her hip.

He squeals the second he sees me and reaches out with both chubby arms, leaning hard so Irina almost drops him.

I chuckle at his excitement and take him into my arms, holding him close, burying my face in his soft dark hair for a long moment.

He smells like baby powder and the apple juice Irina must’ve given him earlier.

His little hands grab at my scarf as he babbles happily against my neck.

“You look like you ran the whole way here,” Irina says as she closes the door and locks it behind me. She studies my face with narrowed eyes. “What’s going on with you? You’re never this late for pickup, and you’re pale as a ghost. Come sit down before you fall over.”

I force a smile and bounce Lex gently in my arms while he giggles and pats my cheek. “Just a long day. Classes ran over and it started to snow lightly." I want to tell her everything, but todo so would probably just endanger her. If she knows anything, then Rashid can use that against me by hurting her. I know how these people work.

She doesn’t believe me.

She folds her arms across her chest and watches while I peel off my coat and hang it on the hook by the door.

The apartment smells like fresh coffee and the cookies she baked earlier.

Toys cover the living room floor.

“Family night's still happening this weekend, right? Remmy already bought that board game you like. We can order pizza from that place on the corner, put on some music, and let Lex watch us make fools of ourselves. It’ll be fun. You need this, Em. You’ve been locked away too much lately.”

I set Lex down on his playmat and watch him grab for his stuffed bear. He rolls onto his belly and kicks his legs while he reaches. My hands won’t stop trembling no matter how hard I clench them, so I fold them together and sigh hard. “Actually… I don’t think we can make it this weekend.” I hate letting her down after all she does for me, but I know right now it's not time to be out and about. I have to be close to home and keep Lex safe.

Irina’s eyebrows shoot straight up. She drops to her knees on the rug and starts bundling Lex into his snowsuit. “What? You promised last time we talked. Lex needs to see his godmother more than just once a week. It's only one night. We’ll keep it short if you want. Just dinner and games.” I can see the pain in her expression; she really wants this. I'm just not sure it's safe.