Page 52 of Tempt Me-

“Yes.Thank you,” I say, shaking the plastic bag full of sanitary napkins and tampons I more than likely don’t need.

Unless the two pregnancy tests tucked safely in my purse show I am panicking for no good reason.

***

Mia

I decide totake the tests separately.I don’t know why or what good it will do, but I convince myself two separate urine streams would yield the right results.It doesn’t matter that I am being completely irrational.The fact is, I slept with Austin the first time over a month ago, and though we used protection, it does have a fail rate.I could very well be pregnant.

I watch the first stick, waiting endlessly… then finally turn away.A watched pot and all that.I pace the bathroom, which is all of a few steps in one direction, another few in the other, rubbing my arms with my hands.This time my stomach churning has everything to do with nerves.

Knowing enough time has passed, I turn around and glance at the stick on the counter and my knees buckle at what I see.Apparently no matter how much you prepare yourself, finding out you are pregnant by a man who doesn’t want forever with you is a punch of gut-wrenching reality.

I lower myself onto the closed toilet seat and put my head in my hands.“Okay, okay, think,” I say to myself.

First, I have to testify.I have to put that mess behind me.Austin will protect me, and I’ll get through that this week.Then, before he brings Bailey home, I’ll tell him that I’m pregnant.

I have to pull in deep breaths at the reminder.I won’t trap him.He doesn’t want a future with me, and I don’t want him because he feels obligated.He’s been in that situation once before, and was cornered into marriage.I won’t hide the truth from him, but I won’t accept him marrying me out of guilt, either.

I can raise this baby by myself.How, I don’t quite know the details yet.But plenty of women manage, and I’ll do the same thing.Just not as Bailey’s nanny.The thought of leaving the little girl hurts, but there is no way I can stay on.And there is every chance Austin won’t want me to.

I have a healthy savings account thanks to room and board being part of any previous employment, and I’ll be able to rent an apartment somewhere.Maybe the city, where I can get a job within walking or subway distance and not need a car.

See?I can do this.I just have to survive this week of the trial and then telling Austin I am pregnant with his baby.

***

Austin

Something is upwith Mia, and damned if I can figure it out.Things were bad before we went to Dan’s, but afterwards, she totally withdrew into herself.To my knowledge, nothing happened there that would upset her except that she obviously got sick.I am damned sure going to make certain she sees a doctor once she finishes testifying, because I am beginning to be concerned.

I plan to bring my daughter home by Friday, once Mia’s testimony is over and there is nothing her ex-employer can gain by going after her.The damage will be done by then.But I miss her like crazy and want to take her for pizza and ice cream tonight.I also thought Mia would enjoy getting out of the house, but she insisted on staying at home.

“You need time alone with Bailey,” she said.

“But Bailey wants to see you, too.”

A wistful smile pulled at her lips.“I’d like that, too.But I think it’s more important for you to have father-daughter bonding time.”

Which is why I sit across from my daughter at an old-fashioned pizza parlor.My parents joined us, and we ordered two pizzas, one plain and one with pepperoni.

“Did Grandma tell you I want a fish?”Bailey asks after she swallows a bite of her food.

I nearly choke on my pizza.“No, Grandma didn’t mention it.”

My mother grins.“She actually wants a puppy, but I managed to talk her down to a fish,” she says, her eyes glittering with mischief.

I suppose I am lucky my mom didn’t encourage my daughter’s desire for a dog… although I really am giving it thought.I just won’t mention it to Bailey in case I decide against it.

Bailey pushes herself up on her knees on the booth bench.“Yeah, I wanted a dog, Daddy.But Grandma said you’re too busy working.But I told her Mia takes such good care of me, she could take care of the dog, too.”

As if Mia needs another thing to care for.“I think we’d have to talk to Mia about any pet you get, honey.”

“Does that mean maybe a dog?Can we go to a puppy store?Please?”Bailey squeezes her hands together like she is praying.

I blink, uncertain how we went from fish back to puppy in the blink of an eye.“First of all, if we did ever get a dog, we’d adopt one.”

“Connor in my class is adopted,” Bailey says.“His mommy said he’s extra-special because she picked him.I think I’m extra special because you’re my daddy.”She picks up her pizza and takes a large bite, smearing grease across her cheeks and not caring.