Page 109 of Reckless Devotion

My stomach bottoms out and I shrink back instinctively. Not fucking likely, cocksucker. The woman smells like packaged ham and cough drops, and all she has done in the past two days is treat me like a three-year-old.

“It’s Sunny,” Chase cuts in firmly, his hand falling back onto my shoulder.

The woman looks surprised, but doesn’t say anything other than, “Right, well I’ll see you, as I said.”

She steps back into the elevator and presses a button, which sees the steel hangar door close slowly in front of her.

“She’s a weird dude,” I sigh, letting my rucksack slip to the floor.

Suddenly, I feel very, very tired. Like all of my keyed-up worry has finally sucked away my energy.

“You’re here now.” Chase ruffles my hair and I give him a mock glare that I can tell is severely lacking its usual ferocity.

He grins, but it doesn’t dazzle in the way it normally does. “Want a tour?”

“Sure.” I stare around the large open-plan loft conversion, my eyes landing on a colorful arcade machine in one corner, right next to a basketball hoop attached to the wall. “Cool!”

“There’s a pool table, too.” Chase slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans and leads me past it to a hallway on the other side of the vast living space.

“Your room is here.” He twists the door handle and lets it swing open to reveal a big room, sparsely decorated, with blue bed sheets.

“You’re really living up to the whole hopeless bachelor vibe, you know?” I slide my gaze his way, catching his lips twist.

“You can decorate it however you want if…” His face falls solemn, trailing off and clearing his throat.

My stomach cinches, the hammering pain inside my chest I’ve felt since I came home the other day to find social services waiting for me ramping up. It’s like being winded, except it hasn’t quite gone away. Not in the lonely night I spent in a government building trying to sleep in a chair while they desperately tried to find somewhere to place me, or in the group home last night staring at an unfamiliar ceiling in the dark. It took me back to a hazy time where life never felt secure.

“Well, why don’t we just wait and see what happens.”

“Yeah,” I reply quietly, toying with the doorframe for something to do.

“Look, I’m new to this and I know this is weird for you—”

“It’s not weird,” I cut him off, looking up in alarm.

He has no idea hownot weirdthis is. What’s weird is sitting around a table with ten kids you don’t know eating dry oatmeal, not moving in with a rich guy who has a cool apartment and is actually fun.

And more than all of that, he accepts me for who I am. Without question or judgement.

“Well, all I’m saying is that I want you to be comfortable here and…” He casts a hand through his dark hair, leaving it slightly rumpled. “We’ll figure out the rest together as it comes."

Neither one of us wants to admit that this might be permanent. I know my sister still sees me as a kid, but I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen her huddled with the ladies in my paint group after a session, whispering and sharing pointed glances. Or locking herself away in her office for hours at night and leaving with a haunted look in her eyes. No, Pepper has been up to something for a long time and that makes me terrified for her.

I’ve seen such a difference in her lately, like some vibrant part of her has been nurtured back to life. I see the way she looks at Chase when she thinks no one is looking, all gooey-eyed and shit.

“Do you love her?”

He turns calm, mahogany eyes on me. “Yeah, I do. Are you okay with that?”

I smile, slipping my hand into his and squeezing. “It’s more than okay. It’svibes maxing.”

“It’s what?” He quirks one eyebrow up at me like I’ve lost my mind.

I roll my eyes, letting go of his hand and waltzing into the room.

“You’resoold, dude.”

Chapter 39