Page 90 of Ride or Die

“Now, do you want me to wear a condom?” I ask, watching her carefully for any flicker of doubt in her eyes. “Because I ain’t ever gone without, and I get tested regularly for competition.”

Clara’s cheeks flush. “I’m on birth control, and I got tested after my last time with—” She snaps her mouth shut, rolling her lips between her teeth, shoulders shrinking a touch.

I nod slowly, but that’s not enough for me. “Okay. But do youwantme to wear a condom?” When I see her brows tug together in obvious confusion at my words, I quirk a brow. “I need the words, baby.”

“No.” She shakes her head without missing a beat and I’m forced to close my eyes and release the breath I tried to pretend I wasn’t holding.

I’ve never gone bare before. Not even on the nights I’ve been sloppy ass drunk. To be able to experience it for the first time with the only woman I’ve ever loved is enough to send me to my goddamn knees.

“Lie back, darlin’,” I whisper, climbing onto the bed.

Clara lies back, her eyes remaining on mine as I crawl up her sexy body, stopping every few inches to press kisses to her perfect skin.

“So,” I rasp, ghosting her stomach with a kiss. “Fuckin’.”Kiss. “Beautiful.”Kiss.

Hovering over her, I rest my elbows either side of her head and settle my hips between her thighs, my dick unintentionally grazing her soaked pussy and causing her to suck in a trembling breath.

“You okay?” I check, my words trembling as I cup her cheek.

She nods, but I’m not sure I believe her by the thick swallow that works down her throat.

I allow my eyes to roam over her face, watching her closely as I shift my hips, purposely grinding against her center. Ducking my head, I press a kiss to her neck, my lips and tongue working over her trigger point, eliciting a soft moan to rumble from the back of her throat.

Her breath hitches when I grind against her again, and I tear my lips from her skin, pulling back to get another look at her which is when I see a blatant flash of panic in her eyes.

“Clara?”

“I need you to get off me!” she chokes out, eyes squeezing shut, words shuddering. “Please?”

I immediately roll off, keeping myself close to her side but not close enough that I’m touching her. Her chest is heaving with shallow breaths and when she opens her eyes again, I see the telltale glimmer of unshed tears.

“Clara, talk to me.”

Pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes, she blows out a heavy breath and shakes her head. “It just felt…”

“Too much?” I try when she trails off.

She shakes her head again. “It felt like I was back there… with… withhim.”

I bristle at her words, suddenly feeling guilty. “Shit, baby. I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t?—”

“No!” Clara turns then, rolling onto her side to look at me. “It’s not you. It’s just—” Licking her lips, she searches my eyes like she’s trying to find the words she needs. “It felt like I was suffocating. The same way I felt all those times with him.”

I study her face, brows knitting together as I try to read between her lines.

“I could feel my body start to give up and—” She shakes her head, vehemently, cupping my jaw, her thumb stroking the whiskers shadowing my skin. “I want you, Cole. I do. More than anything. But I—” Snapping her mouth shut, she shakes her head again, seemingly at a loss and I think I understand.

“Hey?” I duck down, catching her eyes. “You trust me?”

She nods.

Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, I cup her, rolling onto my back and urging her close enough to claim her lips, my tongue sliding into her mouth and causing her to moan into the kiss.

Clara kisses me with urgency, meeting my tongue with her own until we’re a frenzy of lips and sighs and clashing teeth. I trail my hand down, following the curve of her waist before grabbing her hip and coaxing her closer until she’s fully on top of me. I continue trailing my hand down her thigh and positioning her just right without her even realizing. And when I feel her pussy grinding my cock, I jerk my hips forward, causing her to suck in a gasp, tearing her mouth from mine.

Clara’s wide eyes flit between mine and pulling back, she looks down between us, recognition flaring in her gaze. I rub my palms up and down her sides, inching higher with every pass. My thumbs skate across the undersides of her breasts, and when I feel her relax, feel her move her hips ever so slightly, my heart swells with pride.

“I’ve never been… like this before,” she admits, her voice edged with nerves.