Page 123 of Ride or Die

“When—” My words fail me and I’m forced to clear my throat. “When did you… When did Daddy bring you Morris?” Tears bite the backs of my eyes and my voice wavers, but I keep my chin held high, swallowing my emotion.

“At school.” Billie clutches the dog so tight, like she’s terrified I’m about to take it from her. “On the playground.”

My stomach roils and I place a hand over it, willing it to stop. “When, baby?”

Billie looks from me to Tommy, to Morris and back again, her eyes so full of heartbreaking fear, like she’s so scared she’s in trouble.

“It’s okay, baby.” I assure her, forcing a smile I know doesn’t meet the tears brimming my eyes. “You can tell me.”

“Yesterday.”

Something clamps hard around my chest like a vise, trying to squeeze the life out of me.

“Why didn’t you tell me, sweetie?” I ask, hoping I sound light instead of fraught with panic like I am.

Billie looks down at Morris again, hesitating before she meets my eyes. “Because he said if… if I told you… you might—” Her little face crumples, cheeks reddening. Squeezing her eyes closed, tears slip out as she chokes on a sob, “You might go to heaven!”

“Oh my god,” I whisper under my breath, my own tears winning the battle as I rush to comfort my girl. Wrapping my arms around Billie I pull her close, shushing her as she cries against my chest.

“M-mom?”

I turn, finding Tommy gaping at me, a knowing look in his eyes, like he knows exactly what we need to do, what we’re going to have to do, what neither of us wants to do.

Holding Billie, I sniffle back my hiccupping sob and nod just once. And that’s all he needs from me before he turns and runs back inside the cabin to get a start on packing up our lives once again.

CHAPTER 47

COLE

The locker room beneath the stands smells like leather, dirt, sweat, and the sharp bite of liniment. Familiar smells. Normally it’s comforting—like home—but tonight, nothing feels right.

I sit on a folding chair with my elbows on my knees, staring at my phone for what has to be the hundredth time, disappointment flaring inside of me to see nothing from Clara. She said she and the kids would be here. She said they were planning on leaving the house around four to get here with plenty of time. She seemed happy and excited. And while I know the last week has had its downs, we’ve been in a pretty good place the last few days. So where the hell is she?

“Here you go, brother.”

I look up to see Brady walk through the doorway, handing me a small tub of rosin.

“Thanks,” I mutter, taking it.

“Everythin’ okay?”

I snap my head up, finding an uncharacteristic flash of concern in Brady’s gaze. He’s not normally the kind of guy to take anything too serious, so it catches me off guard and I find myself opening up to him.

“Clara’s not here.”

Brady looks at his watch. “Want me to go check to see if she’s out there gettin’ food with the others?”

I shake my head. “Nah, she’d come find me first. Or at least answer my damn calls.” I scoff, shaking my head at myself.

Brady frowns.

“I’ll give her another call,” I say with a casual shrug, trying not to give away how affected I am. “I’m sure she just got caught up with the kids or somethin’.”

“You need anythin’?”

Shaking my head, I meet his eyes. “I just need… a minute.”

Thankfully he understands what I’m asking and, slapping me on my shoulder, he offers a tight smile. “Give ’em hell, my guy.”