Page 10 of My Girl to Use

“Shh,” Jax hums, glancing at me briefly before looking back down at Levi. “We’re not celebrating yet.”

I clamp my mouth shut, watching as he continues the slow rhythm. His body is relaxed, patient, like he has nowhere else to be. A minute passes. Two. Levi doesn’t cry again.

And I just stand there and look at him. This man I met four days ago, holding my brother against his chest like he’s been assigned to it. One big hand spread across Levi’s whole back—that’s how small Levi is, or how big Jax is, I don’t know which. His voice has gone somewhere low that I haven’t heard from anyone before. He’s not asking me if he’s doing it right. He isn’t looking at me at all. He just took the weight and is holding it, and he doesn’t seem to find that remarkable in any way.

Nobody has ever taken anything from me and not wanted something in return.

Something turns over low in my stomach, and it is not gratitude. It’s warmer than that, and lower. I don’t have a name for it, and I’m too tired to go looking for one. I just know I can’t stop watching his hands. He’d make a good father.

My shoulders sag slightly, the tension draining out of me so fast it almost makes me dizzy. “I’ve been trying for almost an hour,” I whisper, more to myself than him.

“Yeah,” Jax replies quietly. “Sometimes it’s just about switching it up.”

He moves carefully toward the bassinet. “Let’s see if he stays down.”

I hold my breath as he lowers Levi slowly, gently, like one wrong move will ruin everything. For a second, it works. Then Levi’s face scrunches. And he cries. Loudly.

I let out a frustrated sound, dragging a hand down my face. “Of course.”

Jax exhales quietly, already lifting Levi back up before the cry fully builds. “Yeah…figured.”

Levi settles again almost instantly against Jax’s chest, like that’s the only place he wants to be.

Jax glances at me, then at the small loveseat. “Looks like I’m stuck.”

I blink. “What?”

“He won’t stay asleep unless I’m holding him,” he says simply, walking over and sitting down like he’s already made the decision. “So, I’ll stay.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I know,” he cuts in, his tone calm but firm. “I want to.”

I hesitate, watching Jax as he leans back slightly, adjusting Levi so he’s comfortable against him, his hand still moving in slow, soothing circles.

“You should get some sleep,” he adds, nodding toward the narrow bed against the far wall. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I’m not—”

“Zora.”

My name in his voice does something strange to my chest.

I swallow. “I can’t just leave him with you.”

“You’re not leaving,” he says. “You’re right there.” He tilts his head toward the bed again. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

I hesitate. Every instinct tells me this is a bad idea. That I don’t know him. That I shouldn’t trust him. But Levi is quiet. Finally quiet. And I’m so, so tired.

“I’ll just…lie down for a minute,” I say slowly, like I’m trying to convince myself.

Jax nods once. “That works.”

“I’m not actually going to sleep,” I add quickly.

“Of course not,” he replies, the hint of a smile in his voice.

I narrow my eyes slightly at him, but I’m already moving toward the bed, my body heavy, my limbs slow. I lie down,keeping my eyes on Levi, on the steady rise and fall of his tiny chest. On Jax sitting there like this isn’t the strangest situation in the world.