Page 69 of A Thousand Second Chances

To my utter shock, Percy steps forward and pointedly rubs his erection against my leg. “Trust me, I’m fine. You’re not the only one who was, um…into that.”

My entire body feels ready to combust as I lean in to steal another kiss that turns into a dozen before we come up for air.This time, neither of us pulls away, and we stay there like that, foreheads pressed together.

Percy huffs a strained laugh. “God, what are we doing? Is this a terrible idea?”

Probably. I let my hands wander, mapping his arms, his sides, his back—all the contours of his flesh that used to be familiar to me and that I’m now desperate to explore anew. After a moment’s hesitation, his fingers tentatively begin doing the same to me.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not,” I admit. “But Idoknow I’ve wanted this for a while now. And I…I’ve missed you.”

Percy hugs me tight against him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “Really, truly sorry for how things ended between us. I…I know it was my fault for pulling away from you. It was just so much to deal with, and I was so scared…”

I consider letting him off the hook. I could tell him it’s okay, no hard feelings. Say I forgive him. Instead, there on that rocky outcropping beneath the stars, I tell him the truth.

“It hurt,” I say, my voice cracking with the admission. “For a long time. It…it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I could handle everyone else pulling away—my family, my team, my other friends. Butyou…you were the one person I needed in my corner. And when you didn’t want me either, I felt worthless.”

Now Percy’s not so much holding me against him as he is clutching at me like a lifeline, fingers digging into my arms. He shudders, his voice almost a sob. “You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve always been so worried about what other people think. So preoccupied with making my dad—and my mom—proud of me. But letting you go…I think it’s the thing I’ve regretted most.”

The words soothe something in me, an ache I’ve carried for the last two years like an open wound.I mattered to him.Whatever else happens, whatever else comes between us or howeverfleeting our connection tonight proves,I mattered to him. And he sure as hell mattered to me, too.

For now, for this moment, that’s enough.

I don’t remember the walk back to the Royal Lilac. Honestly, it’s a miracle neither of us falls flat on our faces or accidentally wanders off the road. What Idoremember are our intertwined fingers dangling between us. The way his body keeps grazing against mine, like even a couple inches is too great a separation to bear. The intermittent brush of his lips as he leans over to steal kisses whenever the fancy strikes him.

Ms. Lindman is sitting downstairs reading as usual when we walk in, and I’m sure we say something to her as we pass, call out some sort of greeting, but I can’t remember what. Then we’re up the stairs and through the door into my room, tumbling into my bed with our limbs a tangled mess. Every part of me yearns to touch every part of him, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m making up for lost time—trying to erase the stain of the last two years spent apart.

Percy seems equally eager, grinding his hips against me as he shucks off my shirt and traces the ridges of my abs. He stares down at me, his eyes dark with hunger. We don’t speak, perhaps both of us too afraid that doing so might shatter the spell. Or maybe it’s just that we have so many better uses for our mouths.

Tossing aside his shirt, I lean up to press little kisses along his shoulder and down his chest before lunging forward to suckle his neck. He moans, arching his back, and the instant I pull away, his mouth crashes over mine as if desperate to consume me. His fingers tweak my nipples, making me buck beneath him, then slide lower and lower down my sides until they’re thumbing at the waist of my jeans.

He pauses there, a silent question on his face, and this is it—my last chance to reconsider and call this whole thing off before it’s too late. Except, lying there looking up at his slim, bare chest,his blue eyes burning with desire and his mop of hair a tangled mess framing his kind face, I know it’salreadytoo late. Maybe this is what the time loop has been building toward all along, or maybe this is all on us. Either way, there’s no turning back for me now.

Gently, I clasp his forearms and slide his hands lower still. His hesitation vanishes, leaving only passion and something softer in its wake, and as we shed the rest of our clothes and join our lips and bodies together, it’s as if we’re two pieces of the same broken heart, reuniting as one.

Somewhere in our clash of bodies and tongues, in the longing and the hurt and the forgiveness and the love, I have enough presence of mind to direct a giantthank youto the universe for giving us this chance—for giving usallthese chances to find our way back to each other against all odds.

When our bodies are finally sated, he stays without me needing to ask, snuggling against my side. We fall asleep in each other’s arms, murmuring all the affectionate words we weren’t brave enough to say while awake, and life is perfect.

At least, until I wake up and discover Percy gone, another endless Saturday about to begin.

twenty-eight

Percy

I hesitate outside Chris’door, knuckles hovering over the wood to knock. It’s hard to believe last night actually happened—that it wasn’t some stress-fueled hallucination.

What if Chris doesn’t remember? What if I open this door and everything’s back to how it was before?

The thought freezes the blood in my veins, sending a tremor through my entire body. I think if he forgot it all—if everything we’d shared last night had been swept away on the tides of time—it might break me.

Not that there’s any reason to think that would happen. I mean, sure, we’re dealing with some crazy temporal phenomenon neither of us understands. But so far, we’d both proved immune to forgetting. There’s no reason that should change because we’d been…intimate.

But logical or not, it doesn’t stop the fear gnawing at my gut. Yesterday had been perfect. I mean, okay, most of the day had been anxious anticipation, and dinner had sucked. Butthat enchanted carriage ride around town with some guy who’d remembered my parents? Sunset Rock and the Aurora Borealis? The shared kisses and then themorethat followed, falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms?

I hadn’t felt so at peace since…well, definitely since my mom died. Maybe ever. For once, I hadn’t worried about presenting myself in a certain way or agonized over what others thought of me. Enveloped by Chris’ passion, the emotion so raw and real, there’d been no doubt.

Yet still, my treacherous hand hesitates. I sigh at my own absurdity and, forcing down my out-of-control nerves, rap on the door.

It opens barely five seconds later to reveal Chris standing there, the black bangs hanging over his eyes still damp from a shower and a towel draped loosely around his lean hips. I blush and run my fingers nervously through my hair as his eyes sweep over me. What will he think now that the night’s over? Will he regret what we did? Try to act like it never happened?