Page 29 of Once a Scoundrel

He moved away from her to sit back against the wall, resting his forearm over his bent knee and keeping plenty of distance between them. She smelled too good of lavender, felt too soft and warm— If he’d stayed next to her like that, he’d seduce her right here in the hay and prove himself to be the rake she’d accused him of being.

“The summer when I returned from university and saw the woman you’d become, I wasn’t prepared for that,” he explained as she sat up and drew her legs beneath her, pieces of straw clinging to her deliciously rumpled hair and that man’s coat which would have looked absurd on any other woman. On Faith, it only magnified her unconventional personality. Just one more trait he adored about her. “You’d always been nothing more to me than a friend, and I thought that was exactly where I could keep you.” He blew out a deep breath. “I was wrong. That first kiss changed everything.”

Even from three feet away, he could feel her catch her breath, so alert was he to every move she made.

“All my life I ran from responsibility. I was expected to behave like a peer from the time I was a child, so I did everything I could to prove I wasn’t respectable. Getting expelled from school, drinking and gambling—”

“Whoring,” she interjected, none too kindly.

“That, too.” He grimaced. “So of course I had no plans for a respectable life. Which was why I joined the army, because it was the last thing anyone expected.” His gaze softened on her. “And I certainly didn’t expect you, Faith.”

“Me?” The word was a throaty purr that swept through him like a warm breeze.

“You’d turned into a woman without anyone noticing. Beautiful and beguiling...and I had no idea what to do with you.” She looked away in embarrassment, and he resisted the urge to reach for her. “Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew exactly what Iwantedto do with you, and none of it was respectable.”

Her surprised gaze darted back to him, and embarrassment flushed her cheeks.

Pleasure spread through him at her reaction. She wouldn’t blush like that if she didn’t have feelings for him, no matter how much she denied them.

“Do you know how hard it was to kiss you, Faith, then walk away? Do you have any idea how great a temptation you were?” He shook his head, remembering those confused and dark days, when the only bright light in his life was Faith. “But marriage to anyone back then, even to you, would have felt like a trap.So I kept my distance.”

Her lips parted delicately in surprise. For once, he’d stunned her speechless.

“Until now.”He pushedhimself away from the wall and crawled toward her, until he was once again poised over her. “Now I’ve returned a better man, all because of you, Faith.”

Then he lowered his head and kissed her thoroughly, tasting the strawberry and chocolate that still lingered there. More—he could taste her desire for him, and he thrilled with it.

He cupped her face against his palm to hold her mouth steady beneath his as he plundered the kiss and thrust his tongue between her lips in a heated promise of what pleasures he could give her if she let him. And not only physical ones. He would give her a home and family, keep her safe, and do whatever he could to make her happy and their lives filled with laughter.

“I want you, my darling,” he whispered as he slowly lowered himself until his body covered hers, not slowing in the kisses he scattered across her cheeks, eyes, and lips. “Allof you, from now until I take my last breath.”

Thiswas what had filled his dreams during those long, lonely years in India...the possibility of holding Faith in his arms, tasting the sweetness of her lips, letting the joy of being with her cascade through him. But those dreams paled in comparison to the reality of her, and he was more certain about his love for her than he’d ever been about anything else in his life.

“Marry me, Faith,” he whispered against her lips, longing for her to kiss her reply to him.

But when her answer came, the single word tore through him like a slashing blade— “No.”

She pushed herself out from under him and scrambled to her feet. As she stepped away, he pursued and closed the distance between them until her back hit against the wall. Then he took another step, trapping her in place.

He lowered his head until their faces were even, his eyes locked onto hers. “Why not?” he demanded, fighting down his frustration and the fresh fear of losing her again. Even now, he trembled with it.

“You know why,” she whispered, blinking hard at the tears glistening in her eyes.

His gut knotted guiltily at the sight.Damnation.The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

“I truly don’t,” he assured her softly. He reached to stroke his knuckles across her cheek, but she turned her face away. “Is it Mary Halstead? Getting married will end all the rumors, you said so yourself. We’ll face down the gossips together.” He stiffened as a terrible new thought struck. “Or is this about the viscountess? I told you—nothing happened.”

“No.” A ragged shudder passed through her. “It has nothing to do with them.”

Relief surged through him at her declaration, and he leaned toward her until their two bodies nearly touched. “Then why not, Faith?”

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head, refusing to answer.

“I know you like me,” he drawled. “We’ve always gotten along well.” He shifted forward, finally bringing himself against her, and he felt her catch her breath at the contact. “And I can feel how much you enjoy my kisses, so it can’t be that.”

He captured her mouth beneath his. Despite her protests that she didn’t want to marry him, she leaned into him and met the hunger in his kiss, returning the embrace with a need that matched his own. Whatever her reason for refusing him, it wasn’t a lack of desire, and his chest swelled with a mix of relief, hope, and love. More love for her than he ever thought possible.

Unable to resist touching her, he trailed his hand down the side of her body and over the curves that even the draping coat couldn’t hide. She moaned softly as his hand cupped her breast and began to caress her through the coat and all the other layers beneath, layers he desperately wanted to strip away. How she could feel anything through all that he had no idea, nor did he care when she gave over to her pleasure and arched her back to press herself harder against his hand.