Page 44 of A Quiet Affection

Had anyone toldJaneabout them? What did her sister know about what would happen with Wickham when she was married? She could not imagine Mr. Darcy explaining the marital act to her. Perhaps he had made Mrs. Reynolds talk to her?

Lord, it was wrong to let Jane marry him without knowing thathehad experience with women. That he was a man who had seduced a maid in his patron’s house.

What if she ended the engagement?

Mr. Darcy would be extremely upset. But Elizabeth did not care aboutthat. What mattered was this: Jane would still be free. And when Mr. Darcy died, he would not be able to stop his son from marrying who he wanted to.

Then Fitzwilliam would marry Jane.

“Lizzy,” Georgiana interrupted Elizabeth’s whirling thoughts. “What did Wickham do?”

“I do not know if it is that important…no, it isn’t something that matters. It doesn’t.”

“What was it?” Then, suddenly angry, Georgiana asked, “Did he play a mean trick on you?”

“No, no. Not that…I need to speak with Jane.”

“Oh, yes. Poor Jane. She’ll be surprised you do not want to live with her.”

“Yes,” Elizabeth replied. “I need to tell her that also.”

Georgiana and Elizabeth went to the drawing room to find Jane. Upon arriving she heard Mr. Darcy speaking to them, and then Wickham replying.

They were talking about the plans for the honeymoon. A week in the Lake District before they returned to Pemberley. “You must take a far longer trip after I am dead,” Mr. Darcy was saying. “Maybe even to Ireland.”

“I would like that,” Wickham said. “Every plan you have made for me has always turned out well.”

“Jane, might I speak to you upon a private matter?” Elizabeth asked.

It was at times like this that Elizabeth wished that she couldsee. She wished she knew how Jane looked at Wickham. She was sure she could tell her sister’s real sentiments about him, about herself, about everything if she could onlyseethem and how they acted with each other.

Guessing from voices only told her so much.

There was a rustle as Jane rose. “Yes, of course.”

Jane took Elizabeth’s arm and guided her to the far end of the drawing room, where the air was colder due to a draft from one of the windows.

Now that she was here, Elizabeth could not speak.

“Is it some matter about your room at the dower house?” Jane offered when Elizabeth did not begin.

Of course, Wickham had engaged in intimate relations with other women. If Jane did not assume that he had, she would be happier if she did not know. It could make no difference.

“Elizabeth, what is it? Do tell me. Wickham and I will be so happy to have you with us. He will be happy to have you as a sister, I know he will.”

“Did he say that much? Did he say that he was eager to have me live with you both?”

“Of course he did. You know that he is everything that is eagerness to please.” The floor creaked as Jane shifted from foot to foot. “Lizzy, what is the matter? Do tell me.”

“I do not mean to live with you,” Elizabeth found herself saying. “Mr. Gardiner has given me permission to live with him and his wife—without Georgiana, and with Miss Wilson leaving, andsince Fitzwilliam—since he shall be busy. I have no reason to remain.”

“But—”

The silence that followed was awful to Elizabeth’s nerves. She wished again that she could see Jane’s face. And she also wondered at herself. Why was it so difficult to speak about what she had heard Wickham doing so many years before.

She couldnot. She did not know if it was a desire to see the wedding happen to ensure that Fitzwilliam could not marry Jane, or because she was too shamed to talk about it, or if it was something else. But her voice would not speak the words.

“I am not a reason to remain?” Jane’s voice was mournful.