Page 37 of In a Perfect World

Chapter 19

Triana~

Two days later, and I still felt as anxious as I’d had when Kairo had pulled out of me, then grabbed my face to tell me that we were going to be okay, something that I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since then.

Once we’d finally gone our separate ways, I’d gotten home, and I had cried like I couldn’t ever remember crying before.I’d felt so overwhelmed by everything that the emotions had hit me like a freight train, and I hadn’t been able to rein them in for what had felt like hours.

To his credit, Kairo had called me a few times before I had finally texted him, informing him of my meltdown, and he had texted back, begging me to answer the phone.When I’d finally given in, it’d been to him just telling me that he loved me and that he promised to answer his phone whenever I was ready to talk to him.He hadn’t tried to talk me down or ‘solve’ my current state of mind at the time.Instead, he had given me the space to have my breakdown, waiting in the wings patiently.

What Kairo wouldn’t have known was that it’d take two days for me to finally get my shit together, but even now, it wasn’t really all that put together.My parents still weren’t talking to me, my brother was still caught in the middle, and I still didn’t have a job.Sonia was also still worried about me, checking on me constantly, and with good reason.

Good reason because I could no longer be trusted to make rational choices, and that’s why I was waiting at the cherry blossom tree once again.I had texted Kairo about an hour ago, asking him to meet me, my desperation making me feel like my body was too big for my skin.I felt anxious and like I was out of choices, even though I knew that it wasn’t true.We always had choices, and we were responsible for those choices, no matter what we told ourselves to make ourselves feel better about making the wrong choice.

Nevertheless, no matter how much my mind tried to inject common sense into this situation, I refused to listen.Against the reality that kept slapping me in the face, I had come up with a plan to live freely with Kairo, and I just needed to know if it was something that he was willing to do with me.While he stood to risk a lot more than I did, I still needed to try.I could live with us not working out if I could also say that we had tried everything.

When I heard those familiar sounds of footsteps walking over the foliage, I stopped fidgeting, then waited for Kairo to appear from the trees.Once he showed his handsome face, my heart leapt into my throat, my nerves making it almost impossible to even move.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, but it wasn’t a friendly greeting.He sounded like he was trying to soothe a wounded animal, and that animal was me.

“Hey,” I greeted back, my voice a bit breathless.

“Are you okay?”he asked, eyeing me, and it was a valid question when you considered how I had confessed to having a meltdown two days ago.

Instead of answering him, I said, “I know that I don’t have a whole lot to lose anymore, but...and I know that you do.I know that...that anything you do will come back to haunt your family, especially your father.I know that, Kairo.”

“Baby-”

I put my hand up to stop whatever he’d been about to say.“I know the risks,” I repeated.“At this point, the only thing that I stand to lose is my relationship with Tomasco and Sonia, but...but that’s it.Everything else is just brick and mortar, and my credit score is the least of my worries right now.”

“Triana, tell me what’s going on,” he said, his voice still evenly calm.

“But...but my brother and best friend would understand,” I went on, rambling really.“Plus, it’s not like we’d never speak again.I just...once I got somewhere safe, I could call them regularly, right?”I started pacing, my crazy no longer something that I could contain.“I...it’d be okay.I can do it.”

“Do what?”he asked, his voice now a bit firmer, signs of clear frustration.

I stopped pacing, then looked over at him.“I know that...that Canada and Mexico are no longer our allies, but...but it’s not like there’s this huge...huge electric fence separating the countries.”