Page 39 of The Laudanum Ladies' Society

Miriam laced her fingers between Jenny’s. ‘Yes, I have, but that felt special.’

Jenny closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth and substance of Miriam’s presence. For a while they lay in silence, then Miriam spoke.

‘How long do you think you would have to know a man before you accepted his proposal of marriage?’

Jenny grimaced. ‘I believe six months is the correct answer. I’ve never had the opportunity to find out.’

‘And how long do you think you would need to know a woman before… Well, obviously you could never marry her, but before…’

Jenny opened her eyes. Miriam was looking down at her, her thick, lustrous hair framing her face, Jenny having given in to temptation and pulled it loose from her plait.

‘Before you became her companion?’ Jenny asked. ‘Or a roommate?’

‘Yes, something like that,’ Miriam said.

‘Was your previous roommate someone you called a companion?’ Jenny asked.

‘For almost a year, though I knew it would never last. She was beautiful, but she never wanted to talk about anything serious, and she didn’t make me laugh.’ She kissed Jenny’s cheek. ‘You’re beautifulandyou make me laugh.’

Jenny’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh, Mim.’

‘What? Did I say the wrong thing?’ Miriam asked. ‘Please, tell me if I did. I can sometimes be abrupt, but I would never want to upset you.’

‘No, you haven’t at all.’ Jenny wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, then swallowed. ‘I’m not upset. I’m far from it. I just never thought anyone would want me.’

‘Why on earth not?’ Miriam’s eyes widened.

Jenny sniffed. She could really do with wiping her nose which was also becoming alarmingly moist.

‘Because I… Well, I don’t know really.’ She wriggled upright, moving her legs to allow Miriam space to stay reclined against her.

‘My uncle has always told me I’m problematic. So far, I’ve completely failed to find any suitors. The few I had in my youth passed through my life quickly. None of them stayed. Uncle Conrad said I put them off.’

Miriam turned away and rummaged down the side of the chaise. ‘Here,’ she said, producing a handkerchief. ‘Give your nose a blow and stop being so silly. Now, I think perhaps I should meet your uncle, after all– to give him a piece of my mind. He really does seem to be a dreadful person.’

‘He’s not. He’s very kind and he brought me up.’ Jenny blew her nose thoroughly.

‘But I believe that he has also kept you tethered at his side for far too long. You need your freedom. Now, all we have to do is work out how you can afford to pay for it.’

She reached for Jenny’s hand and kissed her knuckles. ‘I would love to have you here as my guest, but I think it better if we do things officially so that Mr and Mrs Godolphin can’t complain and evict us both. And, in truth, I can’t afford to pay for this room by myself.’

‘Is that why you want me here?’ Jenny asked. The joy she’d been feeling flowed away as abruptly as the tide receding.

‘No, I want you here because I want you here.’ Miriam rolled upon her elbow and put her hand behind her head. ‘Because I feel very much that I could be happy with you. That we could be happy together.’

Jenny’s pulse quickened. The kisses and caresses they had shared were sinful by any measure, and yet felt so purely sublime. More than that, though, was the swell of affection that surged inside her.

‘I think I feel that, too,’ she said. She raised herself up a little more and swung her legs down to make space for Miriam. ‘It’s supposed to be wrong, isn’t it? Physical acts between a woman and another woman.’ She bit her lip. ‘And love.’

Of course, kissing and touching a man with such abandonso soon after forming an acquaintance would also becompletely scandalous, and would probably have felt more transgressive.

‘There are some things that are supposed to be wrong, but if they feel right and hurt no one else, then I don’t see how they can be. Anyone who knows anything about the classics knows that the Greeks and the Romans got up to all sorts of things and were almost approved of for doing them,’ Miriam said.

‘What sorts of things?’ Jenny murmured; a thrill crept through her at her daring.

Miriam twisted round to face her.

‘Shall we try to find out?’ she asked playfully.