Page 45 of Undone

Yet every explanation faltered when she remembered the quiet gravity with which he had spoken of the enemy who had shadowed his life for so long. The recollection banished every smaller concern. If that danger had returned, what did her own uncertainty signify beside it? She pressed her lips togetheragainst the thought. Whatever had happened, she found herself hoping only that he was safe.

A thousand such questions crowded upon her, and she could answer none of them.

When the party from Netherfield arrived, she had permitted herself to hope, foolishly perhaps, that he would be among them. As each gentleman entered, her expectation diminished until, at last, there could be no further mistake.

He was not there.

A single look from him, she had thought, would have settled her mind more than three days of silence had managed. She had not required an explanation before the whole room. She would have asked nothing of him there. It would have been enough merely to know that he was well.

Mr. Bingley offered no explanation for his friend's absence, at least none Elizabeth had heard. Mrs. Bennet scarcely appeared to notice it, being too occupied by the gentleman who had come. Indeed, few in the room appeared to miss him at all. Elizabeth supposed his conduct at the Meryton assembly had left too lasting an impression. To most present, his absence was probably more welcome than remarkable.

The disappointment settled over her with surprising weight. She lowered her gaze before anyone might observe where it had strayed and fixed her attention upon the company around her.

Lydia and Kitty laughed over some remark from the officers. Mr. Collins, having already paid his respects to Sir William upon their arrival, had since become happily absorbed in conversation with Charlotte Lucas, nodding so earnestly to whatever she said that Elizabeth suspected he would remain content there for the greater part of the evening.

Everything was precisely as it ought to be.

Only Mr. Darcy's absence disturbed the picture.

"Miss Bennet. You appear very much lost in thought this evening."

Elizabeth turned at the sound of the familiar voice to find Mr. Wickham beside her. For one fleeting instant she felt her whole countenance wish to close against him before habit reasserted itself, and she arranged her features into something approaching civility.

She had not noticed Mr. Wickham's arrival. Indeed, since entering the ballroom nearly half an hour before, she had observed very little beyond Mr. Darcy's absence.

"I confess I was, sir. It is a fault of mine at parties, to wander in my thoughts when I ought to be attending the company."

"A forgivable fault, and one I shall not press you to account for." He glanced about the crowded room with evident satisfaction. "I confess this is the first proper ball I have attended since arriving in Hertfordshire, and I find it everything I had hoped for, and rather more besides. The music is very fine, and I begin to regret, quite sincerely, that I missed the assembly last month."

"I am glad you find us accommodating," Elizabeth said, uncertain how she was to continue a conversation she no longer wished to encourage.

"I look forward to standing up with as many ladies as will indulge me." His smile was as open and engaging as ever, and Elizabeth marvelled that she had once found it so entirely sincere. "I have already secured your sister Miss Lydia for the first set. If you are not otherwise engaged, may I hope for the second?"

For a moment she could only look at him.

How easily he spoke. How readily he smiled. Knowing what she now knew, there was something almost offensive in such effortless charm.

She forced herself to return his civility.

"I do not feel equal to dancing this evening, sir. I find myself somewhat light-headed, and fear too much exertion would do me little good."

"I am sorry to hear it." His concern appeared immediate, though Elizabeth no longer trusted herself to distinguish genuine feeling from practised courtesy where he was concerned. "Perhaps you ought to sit."

"I thank you for your concern, sir, but I prefer to stand."

A brief silence followed. Wickham's attention wandered about the room with easy unconcern, though Elizabeth had the uncomfortable impression that very little escaped his notice.

"I see your eldest sister is engaged with Mr. Bingley," he observed. "Miss Lydia informed me there are five Bennet sisters. I had not before realised your family was so numerous."

"There are five of us, sir."

"And a very handsome family, if I may be permitted to say so."

Elizabeth inclined her head without encouragement.

"I had hoped," he continued after a moment, "to see the subject of our last conversation this evening. I confess I was disappointed."

Something within her tightened.