Page 86 of At His Beck & Call

I settle gently into his side, curling up like a baby in his arms. My hand has fallen behind his body and is trapped between his back and the cushion of the chair.

As I settle more deeply into him, my fingers move up, intending to pull my arm free, but by accident, they go beneath the fabric of his shirt. It’s a second, no more, but I feel a ribbed quality to his skin, like stripes down his back, long and protruding above the natural line of his skin.

Oliver stiffens immediately, and I try to snatch my hand away, but it’s trapped. The euphoria fades instantly.

“I’m sorry, that was accidental,” I try to explain as my voice wavers. I wonder if he’s just going to drop me on the floor and tell me to get out.

I drag my hand away, but he doesn’t let go; if anything, his arms are tighter around me than they were. He’s staring ahead of him, expression grim, and I watch him for a long time, feeling stricken.

“I’m so sorry,” I manage. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s alright,” he says, his voice thick.

“Is that why you always keep your shirt on?”

“Yes.”

I press against him as he tightens his hold. “I understand,” I say softly. “I’d never ask you to show me something you don’t want to.”

His hold loosens a little, and my heart clenches as he places a gentle kiss against my temple.

“One day, maybe.”

I say nothing in response; the promise in his words making me hopeful for things that can never be. I curl my fingers around the edge of his shirt as we stay like that for a long time.

When I’m finally ready to get up, it’s past six, the time having flown by. I need to get out of here and get to the hospital.

Neither of us speaks as we get dressed. I wish I had time for a shower since I’m covered in oil, but at least my skin feels soft and smooth as I pull my shirt around me. When we’re both fully clothed, he looks at me quizzically for a long moment.

“Was that alright? You weren’t scared or uncomfortable?” he asks.

“It was wonderful,” I say. “Unexpected and wonderful.”

“How would you feel about not using condoms in the future? I can speak to Sterling House about it, but only if you’re okay with it.”

I consider that, knowing the policy from the agency’s perspective. He’d have to get tested for everything, as would I.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” I say, knowing that’s a huge understatement.

A deep look of satisfaction moves over his face again, and I smile at him. That terrible, tiny flame of hope I’ve tried to extinguish so many times is burning brighter by the second.

I look into those gorgeous, dark eyes and try to hide the desperation in my heart to trulyknowhim, and for him to know me, too.

Chapter 30

Lissa

At the start of the following week, Henry is ready to leave the hospital. He’s had a good few days, and he’s been eating plenty of solid food. Dr. Erkhart is really pleased with his progress, and every day it feels as if he’s getting stronger.

I’ve left work a little early today because Oliver is in an off-site meeting and Adelaide insisted I leave so I can be with Henry.

I go up the elevator to Henry’s floor, my mind focusing fully on my son as I step out in front of the mural of the bullfrogs. I feel so different from the first time I saw them.

Everything so far has gone well, and Dr. Erkhart hopes to start chemo as soon as he shows clear signs of recovery.

The length of the treatment is still unknown, but the sooner it begins, the sooner it’ll finish.

I haven’t heard from James for several days, except for the nurses confirming that he’s been visiting.