Page 5 of The Art of Ruin

My hand stays at her back until she’s steady.

“I’m helping,” she says.

“You’re supervising.”

“That’s helping.”

She swings her legs once, heel tapping lightly against the cabinet, then stills, attention locking onto the pan.

I remove the bacon and then crack the eggs against the counter.

Clean break, no shell.

She leans forward slightly, watching me intently.

I missed a piece once. It was small, barely there, but she found it anyway and cried like something irreversible had happened.

I haven’t missed one since.

“Do we have strawberries?” she asks.

“In the fridge.”

She doesn’t wait and slides off the counter before I can stop her.

My hand shoots out, catching her arm as her feet hit the floor too fast, too uneven.

“Letty.”

“I’m fine, Daddy,” she says, already pulling away.

Of course she is.

She drags the stool across the tiles, the scrape louder than it needs to be, and climbs up properly this time, steadying herself with both hands as she peers inside the fridge.

Better. At least she didn’t try to climb the glass shelf like last time. I swear this child is going to be the death of me.

She pulls the container out and sets it down with more care than she used in getting to it.

“They’re small,” she says, peering inside like she’s been personally inconvenienced.

“They’re still strawberries. Just because something is small, that doesn’t mean it’s not perfect.”

She glances at me, weighing it, then nods. “Okay.”

I rinse a handful under cold water, and chop them into quarters, the sound filling the quiet space between us. She watches that too.

Everything is a process with her.

I set them beside her eggs, bacon, and toast. “Table.”

She exhales like I’ve asked too much but climbs down again—slower this time—and carries her plate with both hands, elbows tucked in, careful. Apparently, she’s too big for me to carry her plate now.

She’s growing up too fast and I’m not ready.

She climbs into her chair, adjusts herself twice, then starts eating, focused and deliberate.

I sit beside her with my coffee that’s already lukewarm and tuck into my eggs.