Page 30 of Tell Me I'm Enough

“Not in the plans. I have to take over my dad’s business. Football is just an escape and a way to ‘earn respect,” as my dad always says.

“Is that what youwantto do?”

I don’t know if I like the way he’s probing, but I still give in for some reason.

“Hell no. And I still wouldn’t want to go pro either way. But I have no room to complain. My future is being handed to me on a platter.”

“Sounds like it sucks,” he says sarcastically.

I nod. “Kinda does.”

“I’m Bash, by the way. Short for Sebastian before you ask.”

We end up heading back out into the party together, taking shots and bonding over not wanting to be here…but also not wanting to leave.

He’s easy to be around—a year ahead of me, I think. He’s sarcastic and funny, and not shallow like most of the guys around us tonight. He’s obviously fucked up in his own ways, and I think that’s why we click.

After I have enough shots in me, I forget that I was supposed to be miserable here. I start enjoying the night, and give in to all the ridiculous things the guys ask me to do.

I kind of like the attention. It feels…addicting.

I’m laughing loudly, pulling girls in to dance with me, and slowly drowning out the sounds of all the self-deprecating voices in my head.

One of the guys shouts my name, calling me to come over to them, and I push through the crowd to oblige, Bash right behind me, ready to watch whatever I’m about to get into.

I make my way over to the circle forming with two girls in the middle of a bunch of guys. They’re effortlessly pretty but a little sloppy from the alcohol, having fun nonetheless.

Tanner wraps an arm around me, laughing. “They got dared to make out with you…go ahead.” He nudges me towards the center of the circle where they both are.

The girls are hanging onto each other and giggling as they look to me, waiting.

Bash elbows me, laughing. “Show ‘em a good time, champ.”

I laugh, shaking my head at him. “You’re such an asshole.”

A shot is shoved in my hand as someone yells, “Liquid courage!”patting me on the back.

I down the shot, saying fuck it.

Everyone starts chanting at the same time when I step closer to them. “Sin-clair! Sin-clair! Sin-clair!”

I reach a hand behind each of their heads, pulling them closer, and then turning to the redhead, kissing her as everyone shouts behind me. Then I turn and take the other girl’s head, bringing her close enough to kiss.

They both taste like the same cherry lip balm, so either they shared it, or…they made out with each other first.

When I pull back, we’re all laughing, head thrown back as the chants keep going.

“Now at the same time!” someone yells.

I feel a couple of hands on my back, pushing me back to the girls, and one look at them tells me they’re down.

Screw it. I do what’s expected and play the wild party guy part for everyone around. Mostly because the attention feels good, not because I really want the girls.

I guess…I just want the approval.

I pull them back, all three of us kissing this time. I can see flashes going off behind my closed eyes, and I shake my head, knowing I’m not going to want to see those pictures in the morning.

The kiss is sloppy and pointless, but fun, I guess. I play along as the crowd gets louder and more excited, then break the kiss,wiping my mouth and smirking. I throw my hands up in victory like they want.