Page 236 of Tell Me I'm Enough

Being the weaker gender made you a target to boys and men who can’t control themselves.

They tell you that you need them to protect you, and then turn around and are the ones who do the hurting.

They even convince you that you wanted it.

But she didn’t understand what was happening.

How could she have wanted something she simply couldn’t comprehend?

Once you’ve been hurt, people look at you differently.

Like you’re used.

Like you had to have asked for it.

Like you deserved what happened because you should have known better.

Like you’re dirty now.”

Her voice is steady, but quiet.

“They tell youyourbodyis yours,

Until it isn’t,

Until someone takes it without asking and ruins your innocence.

Then they tell you it’s your fault for not protecting it better.

But it was their job to be decent human beings and not steal what was never theirs to take.”

I feel something break in my heart listening to her, aching for every girl who has been hurt this deeply.

“I learned to be quiet.

To disconnect.

To pretend like it never happened.

Like I’m not actually broken like they tried to convince me I was.

I can’t be broken if I was the only witness and I say that I’m fine.”

Lani swallows, stopping for a moment to collect herself before continuing.

“Some of us chase affection, like it might save us from the way we’re drowning.

Some of us avoid it because being alone is safer than being broken again.

You see, this poem isn’t really about sex.

It’s about choice.

About taking back something thatwasnever supposed to bestolen.”

She puts the paper back down on the desk and just stands there for a moment. It’s quiet, nobody saying anything yet, just letting the emotions from that sit and breathe.

I turn and see a tear slip down Lydia’s cheek. Without thinking, I pull her into my side, her head tucking against my shoulder as she sucks up her tears.