Page 199 of Tell Me I'm Enough

I let her have her time with the girls, shining bright in the midst of a crowded room, sticking out like the brightest one.

I love watching her be so free. I love the way she doesn’t need alcohol to have fun, to be happy, to enjoy life…to make it through each damn day.

Eventually, after enough girls have tried to get handsy and I’ve had to reject several advances to go upstairs, I make my move to grab Simone. She laughs as she falls into me when I spin her.

I wince a little as she grabs onto my shoulder, and she quickly apologizes, asking if I’m okay.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Sometimes I forget it’s still healing until someone hits it or I do something I’m not supposed to.”

“You never have been good at following the rules,” she teases.

The song changes into something more fun with a heavier beat. Naturally, I pull Simone into me, wrapping my hands around her waist, with her back against me.

“I hate rules when it comes to you,” I tell her.

She leans her head back, resting it against my chest as she dances. “I think you should take me upstairs before you get too many drinks in to be smart about those rules.”

I’m not gonna argue with that. I take her hand and sneak her away before any of our friends can see.

When I push my bedroom door open, it hits something hard, stopping us from being able to get in. Two college kids I’ve never seen before stumble around the door, laughing and obviously wasted.

“Out,” I order, not wanting to think about anyone in my room defiling the very place I lay my head down at night.

They apologize about ten times while fumbling out of the room hand in hand.

As soon as they’re out, I grab Simone and pull her in, locking the door behind us. She quickly pulls me into her, kissing me as my hands find their way into her hair. I quickly move my hands to the zipper on the back of her leather jumpsuit and slowly lower it as her lips find the spot on my neck that drives me crazy.

I stop to look at her once she gets her legs out of the skintight shrink wrap she tried to pass off as a costume—teasing me all night. I just stand there, staring in awe of how perfect she is. I don’t even deserve the access she gives me, yet I’m so greedy for it I can’t say no.

“Even in an all-black outfit, you couldn’t go without something being pink,” I tease, watching her lower the strap of her pink, lacy bralette that matches her underwear.

“I thought pink was your favorite color,” she says, voice dripping dangerously with temptation.

I grab the bottle off my side table and take a shot from it while I drink her in, wanting to draw out this little game between us, the one where we tease each other until someone finally snaps and gives in.

“You’re playing a risky game, pretty girl.”

She plays innocent while locking her seductive eyes on mine. “Yet, I don’t think you want me to stop, now do you…” She walks closer, gently tugging on the tied jumpsuit at my waist, “Inmate.”

“I knew you’d like the costume.”

“We can use it to role-play,” she suggests, backing us up closer to the bed.

I can’t take it any longer; she wins.

I grab her by the waist, picking her up, and quickly move her onto my bed.

I greedily take everything she offers up to me, needing it to feel alive—needing my fix of her like a drug.

When we’re together like this, there’s this moment—right after—where I feel whole. Like whatever’s broken inside me has been temporarily stitched together. I cling to that feeling. Because the second it fades, the darkness rushes back in.

But tonight I plan on doing whatever I can to keep it pushed away—using every touch of hers that makes me feel high, and every drink that stops my racing thoughts.

She’s tucked under my arm, my hand stroking her back as we lie in the bed. I’m still riding the high of being with her when someone starts banging on my door.

“Yo! Mase! Where you at?”

“Fuck off, Tanner! I’m busy!” I yell back.