Page 193 of Tell Me I'm Enough

There’s a thud on the other side, like something being thrown, and then his voice, muffled and rough. “Go away.”

My throat tightens, being hit with more emotions, scared he’s still not going to let me in, even with coming here.

“It’s Simone,” I say through the door.

Silence.

Long enough that I wonder if he even heard me.

“Mason?” I say again.

Nothing.

I stand there for a few seconds longer than I should, my forehead pressed against the wood.

Then my phone buzzes.

Mason: key’s on the doorframe

I look up, and sure enough, there it is.

I stretch onto my toes, grab it, and unlock the door.

The room is dark. All the blackout curtains are drawn tight, making it pitch black in here even though it’s still daytime outside.

The smell hits me first—stale alcohol and old cigarette smoke. But beneath that, I still smell…him—his cologne, clean laundry, the hint of smooth, expensive whiskey that’s always there…myMason. It’s just buried under all the sadness and neglect going on here.

I flip on the small desk lamp instead of the overhead light, not wanting to blind the vampire that’s been residing in here.

The small cast of light shows me the state of the room—of him. An empty pizza box sits open on the floor, empty water bottles everywhere, and even more liquor bottles than I want to try to count.

At least I don’t have to worry about him being dehydrated. I guess that’s a small win.

He’s lying in the bed on his stomach, head resting on his arms, facing away from me.

My heart hurts instantly looking at him. It’s like I can feel his pain from here.

I wish I knew how to make this better.

The same way I always want to fix everyone I love.

When I look at Mason…I see Lydia.

I see her curled up after Camilla died.

I see her curled up after Eli died.

I see her curled up after the assault.

I still see her curled up in that hospital bed.

I hate the images and shake them away.

I don’t want to see Mason like this. I don’t want to see him get to that point. I’m also afraid it’s already too late, though.

I don’t think; I just do the only thing I know how to do. I lift the covers and climb in behind him.

It takes a second.