Page 117 of Secret Baby for My Brother's Best Friends

"She didn't say it back," he says. "But I think it's because...I think she loves all of us."

Sam's eyes widen, and he meets my gaze. Shock and the burgeoning hope that he almost doesn't dare to have. I know we're thinking the same thing, even if we know it's far too early to be.

Is there a chance that she would choose us all?

37

CHELSEA

My argument with my brother hangs over my conscience the entire night. Even though I manage to get some sleep, it keeps replaying in my head. The rage on his face. The hurt in his eyes.

He might never speak to me again.

It sounds like catastrophizing, but I can picture him washing his hands off me for good and deciding it's not worth it anymore. It didn't take much for my own parents to not want me. And for James, all I've ever been is a burden, a thorn in his side, someone that he has to take care of. He's tried so hard to watch out for me all these years, and in return, I date three of his best friends and tell him that I would choose them over me.

Once more, the pain in his face haunts me.

I didn't mean it like that, I swear. I didn't mean for that statement to come out how it did, but I was hurt and angry and embarrassed, and I said the worst possible thing I could have said in that moment.

Even though the truth is, I don't want to have to choose at all. Losing my brother would be like ripping my heart out of my chest.

But losing the guys would break me differently, in a way I haven't been broken before.

I guess that just goes to show how much they’ve come to mean to me.

I love them.

The realization makes me more miserable, my emotions more intense. I've fallen in love with all of them and don't know how to handle it. I can't choose between them.

And one day, they just might ask me to, and I'll lose them forever.

The guys take care of me through the night and hold me when I need it. I wake up crying several times, checking my phone to see if James has responded, but nothing there.

I figured there would be nothing. Sometimes after our fights, he sends me angry memes or rants about how mad he is. When he does that, it tells me that he's not actually that angry. Conversely, the more he rants, the less furious he is.

His total silence is as loud as a door slamming in the face.

I hate fighting with him, and we don’t do it often, and it’s never been for anything this serious. And deep inside, I know he only said the things he said because he cares about me. He probably thinks I'm making the biggest mistake of my life and setting myself up for humiliation. He's trying to help me.

And I basically yelled at him for it and told him that I would choose them over him.

I hate this.

I have to explain it to him. Even if he doesn’t want to listen to me, I have to make him listen. I’m not going to let this fight drag out. We’re both adults, and we should be able to agree to disagree when it comes to my love life.

I wake up early the next morning, Sam's arm around my waist, and Jake's breath next to mine. Adam is already gone, but he left a note and a cup of coffee by the bed.

It'll be okay. Trust me. No one can be mad at you for long.

Love, Adam.

I smile, drink the coffee, and attempt to go to the bathroom, but then a hand wraps around my wrist.

Jake's eyes open a little, and he sits up.

“Isn’t it a little early for work?" he asks me as he pushes a kiss on my cheek.

“Yes, but I want to talk to my brother first before I head to work." I glance from him to the sleeping Sam. "I know you and Adam think I should give James space, but you don’t know how he is. The more space I give him, the more he stews on the words I said, and by tomorrow he’ll convince himself that I hate him and don’t want him around. Besides, I don’t want this to become an even bigger mess than it already is."