Page 91 of Deceived Wrath

“No. It reminds me how big the world is. How much there is to see.”

He thinks about that for a second before giving a small, thoughtful nod. Then he moves on. He tests the couch next, sitting gingerly on the edge as he runs a hand over the smooth leather, then immediately pulls it back like it’s stung him, and that hits me harder than I expect.

Shit. He shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in his own home.

I clear my throat. “You can sit wherever you want here. Touch whatever you want. It’s your home too.”

Scout glances over at me with uncertainty in his eyes before jumping off the couch.

“Can I see my room?”

“Sure thing. It’s just up the stairs on the right.”

It turns out his room is not much better. I barely had a chance to do much to it other than clear out a few overpriced pieces of art that Kieran left behind.

I had huge plans to paint the walls and swap out the king-sized bed for a racecar one just like I promised, and stock the shelves with toys and books. But I didn’t. Instead, I chose to spend the scarce amount of free time I have sleeping with my assistant, leaving Scout with a bed that he can barely climb onto.

Nothing about this room screams Scout, and he knows it from the way his face falls as he looks around.

I've never felt less deserving of being Scout’s father than I do right now.

He opens his backpack without a word and starts unloading the only pieces of his home he has left, his action figures and a handful of mismatched plastic cars. He lines up the action figures on a low shelf, their bright colors popping against the monochrome palette of the room.

“Do you want them somewhere higher?” I want to be helpful.

He shakes his head as he continues to arrange his things. “Here’s good. They can see the whole room this way.”

Once he’s finished, he crosses the room and climbs onto the bed. He bounces once to test the mattress before flopping onto his back and staring at the ceiling.

“It’s weird,” he says quietly.

“What is?”

“This room. It’s so big. It’s like it ate my old one.”

I sit on the edge of the mattress and look around.

“If you want to change it, we can. Paint, new furniture, whatever you want. We’ll make it yours.”

He turns his head toward me. “Really?”

“Really.”

He smiles, and it eases something tight in my chest.

For the rest of the evening, Scout stays in his room, glued to his iPad.

I figure he can use some time and space to decompress, so I leave him to it. But every so often, I peer inside and watch him, taking in the way he is trying so damn hard to act like none of this change scares him. But I can see it clear as day on his face.

This is going to be a learning curve for both of us.

I can’t do it alone, and as much as it hurts me to admit it, I know exactly who I need to call.

For the first time since Kieran forced me to hire an assistant, I’m grateful because Fiona is the first person who comes to mind.

I haven’t forgotten how she was willing to jeopardize her interview in order to check on her sick niece. And when it comes to looking after Scout, I need someone with that level of integrity and who I know I can trust without a shadow of a doubt.

I can’t believe I’m even considering this.