Page 3 of Deceived Wrath

"I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Go out every night and still manage to function like a human being. If I get even ten minutes less than my designated eight hours of sleep, I turn into a complete zombie."

Zoe scoffs. "See, this is where you went wrong. You're supposed to build up your stamina during college, and then when you're thrown out into the real world, you're able to work all day and party all night. Why do you think I ever went to college? It sure as hell wasn't for the diploma."

I take a sip of wine. "Oh, I know. I don't think you ever stepped foot into the library the entire time we were at NYU."

"I did!"

"Oh, yeah? When?"

"I was on a date with that guy... Oh, what was his name?" Zoe frowns, a small crease appearing between her dark brows. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, we were on a date, and he took me to the library to make out."

"And make out is code for..."

"I sucked him off."

"Zoe!"

"What? He was hot! And I could tell he had a huge dick." She grins.

"From what?"

"The size of his hands." She holds up her perfectly manicured hand.

"Since when is hand size suddenly a predictor of penis length?"

"Sincealways.But it's not just the length that's important, it's the girth too. I mean, I don't want to feel like I'm riding a pencil, you know?"

"Right..."

"So, I obviously had to gather evidence to support my hypothesis."

"And your first thought was to go to the library? That is a place of work!"

"Trust me, the library is one of the better places to give head. Something about the smell of old books really turns me on, you know?"

"No, Idon'tknow."

"You are such a prude."

"I amnota prude."

"Fiona, sweetie, it's been so long since you had sex that I'm pretty sure you've been re-virginized."

I scowl at her over the top of my glass. "It's not beenthatlong."

"Hasn't it?" Zoe's eyes twinkle as she looks at me, which only makes me scowl harder.

"I've been busy."

"Doing what?"

"I reorganized my closet last night," I mumble, reaching for the wine.

I'm tempted to forgo the glass and just drink straight from the bottle after hearing how utterly pathetic my life sounds.