Page 87 of Property of Rattler

I long to call Satin, there had been many times when we’d sit talking well into the night, sharing our troubles and tribulations. While I still can’t believe she sold me out, a seed of doubt has been planted, so I’ve not even got her to lean on. I’m certainly not going to have a heart to heart with Trixie, and Pippa? Well, she’s far too close to the club.

These last couple of days have been a whirlwind, is it really such a short time ago that Rattler and I were happily living in the cabin? Then the attack, my immense grief at thinking him dead, followed by the absolute pleasure at finding he was alive. After that came my relief that my brother was no longer going to be a problem, though those feelings were heavily tinged with guilt — he was my last surviving blood relative, and while I feel I should, I won’t be able to find it in me to mourn him.

I’ve been up, down, turned around and all in forty-eight hours. No wonder I’ve been leaning on Rattler as my only constant. Perhaps if they tell me I’m free to get on with my life, then maybe I should leave and put him and the Kings in my rearview.

But what would I do? Where would I go? I ran away from Phoenix without explanation, just disappeared from the course I was on. I’ll have been thrown off it by now, and won’t even have that to go back to. It’s not as if I can tell the college the reason why I disappeared off the face of the earth. Too many questions would be asked, and I don’t want to involve the Kings — despite how I’m currently feeling about Rattler. I’d be dead or married to some Russian mobster if they hadn’t protected me — though, perhaps that’s a risk even now. Damn it, if that’s so, I’m still stuck here.

Suddenly I hear the clump of the crutches Rattler is using rising up the stairs. My mouth goes dry. I’d planned to ask him for space, knowing he won’t miss me, he’s got a whole harem of girls he can use however he wants. But actually confronting him? Yeah, that’s not something I’m looking forward to.

He fumbles to get the door open, and then has to get both crutches back under him as he hops in, pushing his body back to close the door behind him. Immediately noticing he’s looking pale, I have to stop myself going to him.

I stand as he makes his way over to me, and watch as he drops down on the bed, letting his crutches fall to the floor as he sighs in relief. Lying back, his eyes close. “Fuck, it’s good to be back.”

I want to ask if there’s anything I can do for him, but that was the old me. Before I knew what a dick he was. Now I know I’ve no option but to get out of here. I turn into someone weak around him.

“Can you lend me some money, and can I use your phone?”

“I got it, babe, if you want to order anything in. But I’ll have to send a prospect out to collect, no one in town wants to make deliveries here.”

“I’m not talking about getting in a delivery,” I spit out. “My purse is in the cabin, Rattler, and fuck knows where my phone is. You took it off me, remember? When we were banished to the cabin.”

“Genie will have your phone,” he murmurs, his hands massaging his temples. “And I’ll get your purse back tomorrow.”

“I need money tonight.”

He opens his eyes. “What the fuck for?”

“So I can leave.” I shrug as if it’s a foregone conclusion.

That gets him sitting straight up, and the palm of his hand goes to his head as if he’d moved too quickly. It makes me recall how sympathetic I was earlier, and how I’d jump to his every whim to ease his pain. Now I put it down to him being manipulative. Which I suspect he’s been all along.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he states with certainty.

I laugh as I look down at him, cruelly indicating his broken body. “You can’t stop me.”

His eyes examine me searchingly. “What the fuck’s going on, darlin’? I don’t understand. You were happy enough earlier.” He rubs at his temples as deep lines form on his brow. “I thought we got it all sorted, we were on the same page…” Breaking off, shaking his head, he narrows his eyes. “What the fuck happened while I was in church?”

“I got told some home truths.”

“What the fuck?” He tries to stand, but his badly bruised legs buckle beneath him. Catching himself in time he falls back onto the bed. Limited to words, he snarls, “Who were you fuckin’ talking to? I left you with Pippa and Trixie.” He rubs at his temples again, then growls, “What the fuck did they say?”

“Theydidn’t say anything.” It’s the truth. It was the club girls who had implicated Trixie. And that’s something I’ll find hard to forgive, she knew, but chose not to tell me.

“Then who did? Tell me, Ames. I leave here, go to the club, tell them I want to claim you as my old lady. Fuckin’ put my ass on the line in front of my brothers, because I thought we had something between us.” He thinks for a moment, then raises his left arm a couple of inches, pain obviously restricting further movement. “I nearly died for you, woman. And I’d do it all over again to keep you safe.”

I feel myself pale. “I…”

“I thought you fuckin’ loved me.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Were you just playing me all along?” He lowers his head into his hands, and shakes it from side to side. “I’m a fuckin’ fool, aren’t I? Now you know Stone’s not a problem anymore, you’ve no longer any use for me.”

“You’ll get your money.” I’m taken aback by his vehemence.

“I don’t want your fuckin’ money,” he snarls. “I want you. Or, at least, I wanted who I thought you were. Am I right? Did you just use me?”

“You know all about using people don’t you?” The words burst out of me. “I’ve heard how badly you treated the club whores, selfishly got what you wanted from them and just chucked them out.” I’m on a roll, and can’t stop. “I’m a virgin, Rat.” It’s the first time I’ve used the diminutive form of his name. Up to now I’ve hated the shortened version. But perhaps now I understand how easily he can be referred to as that. “I want my first time to be with a man who cares, not one that just uses me to get himself off.”

His eyes widen so far it’s like looking at a character from a comic.

“It’s a huge fucking red flag. If you don’t show respect to women, you’ll show none to me. And I can’t tie myself to a man like that.”