Page 83 of Property of Rattler

“Shut it, Heaven,” Trixie warns again. Then to me, she explains, “They’re club girls. That’s what they’re here for. To provide services for the single men.” She places what’s supposed to be a calming hand on my arm, but I remember what else was said.

I round on her, and hiss, “She said you could confirm it as well.”

The third woman whose name I don’t yet know but suspect I won’t be hanging around to find out, chuckles. “Trix used to be one of us before she got together with Freak. So, yeah, she knows what we’re talking about.” She gives me a condescendingsmile. “If you’re looking for a real man, girl, I’d set your sights on someone other than Rat. Though…” She purses her lips. “If you are set on Rat, you’d be doing us all a favour. That’s if he cares about you enough to be exclusive.” It’s the way the other girls all nod in agreement, that gives me the most concern.

If they were warning me off him because they wanted him for themselves, perhaps I could better understand. But they’re not jealous, they’re… sympathetic. All of a sudden, I feel the weight of my naïve, inexperienced, nineteen years.

I start backing away, slowly at first, then quicken my steps. I’m stopped by Pippa.

“Don’t take any notice of them,” she advises.

But the damage has been done. These three, no four, women, all know Rat intimately, in a way that I’ve dreamed of but never have. And now they’re warning me off him. Apart from the embarrassment, a little voice inside me suggests they can’t all be wrong. And do I want to give my virginity to a man who doesn’t sound like he knows what to do with it? Or worse, can’t be bothered?

I can’t push a woman holding a baby out of my way, but I’m desperate to leave. “Let me go.”

“Ames…”

“And you?” I turn to Trixie who’s come up behind me. “Why would I want to drink with you now?” I wave my hands dismissively. “I know Rattler’s got a past, but this? Why didn’t you warn me?” I realise I’ve reverted to using his club name.

She’s stunned by my vehemence, and I take the opportunity and go. I tear up the stairs to the room we’ve been staying in. Throwing myself on the bed—which unfortunately smells just like him—I place my head in my hands, my brain racing.

What do they know? He might be different with me. If he wants me enough, he can change.

And isn’t that what women have been saying since the beginning of time? If Rattler’s set in his ways, he won’t change now.

Am I still suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? Have I convinced myself of things that were never there? Have we really moved on from the way we first saw each other? They say first impressions are never wrong. And mine, of him, weren’t good.

He’s selfish in bed. That’s what they were saying. Just like he’d only thought of himself at the start back in the cabin. They’ve just raised a huge red flag, and one I’d be stupid to ignore.

I should just go. But where to? With what? Apart from what little I took to the cabin, all my possessions are back in the apartment I shared with Satin. And I’ve been warned I should stay clear of her. I’m free now, aren’t I? Malachi won’t be a problem anymore. But what about the Russian he’d basically sold me to? Would he come seeking payment?

And if Pippa’s right and I can’t trust Satin, I’d be on my own. Back at square one. Penniless and homeless.

In my hurt and confusion, tears start flowing. Angrily, I swipe them away. I shouldn’t even need to be thinking about running. Just a few moments ago, I thought I’d be staying here, with Fly…No, not my Flynn, now he’s back at the club, maybe it’s best I do only think of him as Rat.

He’d shown a different side of himself when we were stranded in that cabin. I’d liked him so much that I’d started to think our marriage could be real. But now, hearing how he uses women… It’s not even that I know he’s been with all the club girls, though Trixie was a surprise. Had she been playing around before she was married? Does Freak know? I suppose that’s none of my business. Whatever, I’m more worried that all the women have given Rattler the very opposite of a glowing recommendation, and worse, had indicated in no uncertainterms, they’d prefer not to have to deal with him sexually anymore.

Does it sound like I’ve escaped a bullet? If I’d given my virginity to him, would I, too, have ended up disappointed?

Was that why he’d turned my advances down? The very reason for our argument that last morning at the cabin. Looking at it with the benefit of new information now, he probably didn’t want to put in the effort. And rightly realised, being inexperienced, I wouldn’t have known how to pleasure him without at least some guidance. I’m not that innocent, I know which part goes where, but how to touch a man, to know what he likes? I have no idea.

And I really don’t want to be with a man who treats women like things to be used and then discarded.

My eyes continue leaking, and I’m angry at myself. Why waste tears on a man who takes without giving? Maybe his past provides the explanation, but that’s not validation. Rat should have grown up by now.

I really liked him.

I’ve been blind.

I really thought we could build a future together.

But now it’s time to re-evaluate everything I know about him. And to take off those rose-coloured glasses I’ve been wearing.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

RATTLER

“We’ve done our part,” Saint states firmly. “Stone won’t be a problem anymore.” He pauses to give a chilling grin, “Or at least not once we’ve finished with him. Ames won’t need our protection if our plan with the Pakhan works. She’ll be free to go.”