Page 83 of Forever King

“In the kitchen,” I say, my voice shaking.

It’s zero hour. Time to face the music.

When she walks in, she looks more beautiful than ever before. That’s probably because I’m sure this is one of the last moments she’s going to be in my life.

“Did you eat? I’m starving,” she says as she sits down at the table. “What do you think we should get?”

My hands begin to shake as I sit down across from her. I have to tell her. I just don’t know how I’m going to say it.

I clear my throat and force myself to smile. “I’m not sure. Hey, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Me first,” she says, her eyes wide with excitement.

Happy to put off what I have to say, I nod. “Okay. You first.”

She reaches over to touch my hand. “I wanted to tell you I might have been wrong about marriage. It still frightens the hell out of me, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with this new client. It’s so weird. Her marriage has totally imploded, but she’s still a huge fan of it. Well, not with her current husband, but she actually told me she’s looking forward to dating and meeting someone she can marry someday. At first, it sounded like crazy talk, but the more she and I discussed her plans, I get what she was saying about marriage. I’m saying all of this to basically tell you if you still want to talk about getting married, I’m not against it anymore.”

Fucking lovely. Salem actually wants to marry me now, and I have to tell her about a kid. She’s finally come around on marriage, and now I have to blow up everything by announcing I’m a father of another woman’s child.

I blow the air out of my lungs and pull my phone out. Tapping the screen, I bring up the picture of Elias and ease my phone across the table to her without a word. I still don’t know how to tell her this.

She looks at the picture and smiles at me. “Is this you? You were so cute as a little boy! How old were you when this was taken?”

Suddenly, my mouth feels as dry as a desert. Licking my lips, I say, “That’s not me. That’s a boy named Elias.”

I’m making this worse by not just coming right out and saying what I have to say, but I can’t seem to do it. I don’t want to lose her, but if I do, at least I had a few more seconds with Salem.

“Really? He looks just like you. Is he a relative or something?” she asks so innocently that she makes me feel like a fraud.

I touch her hand and wrap my fingers around her forefinger. “No. He’s mine. I found out today.”

All the color drains from her face, but she doesn’t pull away. Not yet, at least. She simply looks down at the picture again and then up at me.

“Yours? How old is he, Kellen?”

I know exactly what she’s thinking, so I quickly explain, “He’s four. He was born on January twelfth four years ago. I was with a woman named Amelia a few weeks before I met you. That’s when he was conceived. I never saw her again after we stopped seeing each other. Her sister Emily called me last week to tell me Amelia died and she has guardianship of him. I guess Amelia never wanted me to know about Elias, but Emily thought I had a right to since I’m his father.”

Those last words come out of my mouth, and I wish I could take them back. I’m his father. Salem never signed up for this. She made it clear she doesn’t want kids. I never found out exactly why, but that doesn’t matter. She never misled me about that, and now here I sit in front of her talking about having a child.

“His father?”

Her words sound strange, like it’s not her saying them. They feel far away and quiet.

“Yeah. I don’t know what to say, Salem. I know you don’t want kids. You have every right to be furious with me, but I need you to know one thing. I never cheated on you. Elias happened because of something from before you and I ever met. I’m sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel about this. I’ve dreaded telling you because I know your feelings on kids. What’s worse is I had to tell you this after you just said you weren’t hating the idea of marriage.”

I really do have a way of fucking up everything, don’t I?

She’s quiet for a long time before she says, “I don’t know what to think about this. I’m going to need some time to figure out how I feel.”

Desperate to show her I can be Elias’s father and it won’t have to affect her at all, I say, “His aunt wants him to say with her, and I can do that. I can be in his life without you having to do a thing. I’m not saying this is your responsibility. I know it’s entirely mine. We don’t have to break up because of this. I can make sure this isn’t a problem.”

I’m surprised when she smiles at me. “That’s not how it works with children, Kellen. It’s not fair to this little boy for you to be more concerned about me than you are about him. He’s your son. He should be in your life, assuming you want him to be. Do you?”

“Yeah, I think so. It feels like the right thing to do. He’s already lost his mom. He deserves to know he has a father.”

“Then how I feel isn’t a priority.”

I immediately sense she’s slipping away, so I say, “You’re always a priority, Salem. I love you. You’re the reason I’m where I am today. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I’d be lost without you.”