Page 55 of Forever King

“Yeah, sure. I never like having to leave, but I’ll be back, and in less than two weeks, we’re getting married.”

The way he says that, like this trip has some connection to our wedding, confuses me, so I ask, “Is everything okay with the company, Matthias?”

With a shrug, he nods. “As good as can be. Record profits last quarter. From what I hear, we’ve got some new products that look like they’re going to be a hit. I can’t remember what they are at this moment, but from what the division heads tell me, they’re going to be a success. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just thought that maybe that’s what’s been making you unhappy.”

And just like that, the darkness that’s been nearly a permanent part of his expression recently returns. “No, it’s notthe business. That’s been doing fine. I better go. I’m going to miss you and the kids, Ava. I’m going to give them all a kiss before I leave, but tell them I’ll be back tomorrow night, okay?”

I fling my legs off the side of the bed and grab my robe to follow him as he walks toward the kids’ rooms. We visit the baby’s nursery first and find her fast asleep. Curled up in her onesie, she looks adorable, her mouth in a cute pout.

“Daddy will be back tomorrow night, sweetie,” he whispers before quietly lowering the side of her crib so he can press a kiss to her forehead. “Be good for mommy, okay?”

She doesn’t wake up, thankfully, but we linger a few seconds next to her crib after lifting the side back up. In many ways, Elizabeth looks like her father, especially with that pout of hers.

As we walk out to the hall, I mention that similarity and he tries to make the pouty face himself. I can’t stifle my laugh at how silly he looks.

“That’s not it,” I whisper as we enter Matty’s room. “It’s just something about the way your face and her face look when you’re unhappy.”

Our younger son is stretched out with his arms above his head like he always sleeps. I look at Matthias and shake my head.

“I don’t think this kid has ever been uncomfortable. He hits the bed and instantly goes spread eagle.”

“He’s like his father,” he says before leaning down to kiss Matty.

Thankfully, he doesn’t wake up, because if he does, I’m going to be dealing with him for hours. This child has reached the stage of life where he questions everything, which means my days are filled with why this and when that and how can that be for hours on end. I love him, but I do enjoy nighttime when the questions get a break and give me one.

Finally, we walk to the end of the hall and our oldest child Theo’s room that used to be his father’s bedroom when he wasgrowing up. When we walk in, we see him curled up much like his sister was in her crib, but he doesn’t pout when he sleeps. In fact, Theo always tucks his hands underneath his cheek, which makes him look far more angelic than he is in reality.

Matthias brushes our son’s dark hair off his forehead and kisses him goodbye. “Be good for your mother, Theo.”

As we walk out to the hallway, I say, “I noticed you didn’t talk to Matty. Why is that?”

With a knowing smile, he answers, “Because if he woke up, he’d be rattling off questions, and I don’t think either one of us wants to deal with that tonight.”

He does know his son and namesake well.

I walk with him down to the kitchen and see Eleanor left him a bag of goodies for the trip. Picking it up from the table, I open it and see cookies along with some healthy snacks like carrots and celery sticks.

“Eleanor’s care package for you.”

He takes it from me and smiles. “She does take good care of me. People wonder why I like working out of the house as much as I can. I tell them all the people I love to be around are here, including Eleanor since she always has good things for me to eat.”

“She does. Have everything you need?” I ask, choking back tears.

Matthias nods and shows me his suitcase. “Got it.”

It’s silly that I get so emotional when he leaves on trips, but I miss him. He’s not just the man I love. He’s also my friend I love to spend time with, so it’s not so ridiculous that I’d be sad when he’s gone.

I think all of that in an attempt to rationalize the tears that I’m wiping away as I walk him to the kitchen door. It’s our routine when he goes away. I walk him through the house until the door where we say goodbye. Then I cry a little, feel stupidbecause he’s going to be back in a matter of days, and eat something like a cookie to make myself feel better.

He stops at the door and sets his suitcase down before pulling me in for a hug. “I love you, Ava. I don’t think you know how much because I’m not always the best at showing you or the kids, but I’d be lost without you.”

I look up at him and see real emotion in his eyes. “I know how much you love me, honey. The kids know you love them too. Hurry back so we can show you how much we love you.”

One more kiss and then he walks out. I don’t watch him drive away anymore like I did the first few times he went on business trips because it makes me even sadder. I don’t know why. Something about it just tears me up.

So I watch the door close behind him and turn to find those cookies Eleanor made for his trip. She always makes sure to set some aside for us here, and I find them on a plate on the stove.