Page 37 of Forever King

I roll my eyes at that thought. “Did Dad change diapers like we do? I don’t remember our father doing a thing with us until we were older. It was always Mom or Eleanor helping us. He never even helped with homework. That was Mom every night.”

Shrugging, my brother adjusts his daughter in his arms. “It was a different time. I like to think we’re more enlightened. I do have to say that I wish Mom was around to see you with Lily. I think she’d be so happy.”

Pleased by that idea, I smile. “I am pretty much a natural, aren’t I? I haven’t succeeded at most things in life that anyone thinks means anything, but she and I found our groove right after Eden went back to work somehow.”

We fall into silence as our daughters sleep. While the coffee tastes great, it’s not helping me keep my eyes open. The first night Lily sleeps all the way until morning, and I stay up all night wide awake. I’m having a hell of a week.

Footsteps in the hallway alert us to someone coming to the kitchen, and a second later, Ava and Eleanor appear from behind the wall. They both look well-rested, which instantly makes me jealous of both of them.

“Look at how adorable these two look!” Eleanor coos.

Ava looks at Lily still in her carrier on the floor and then at me. “Do you want to put her in Elizabeth’s crib? She can sleep in there.”

I wave her off, thankful for the suggestion but fearful that might make her scream. “It’s okay. She’s good.”

“Okay.”

Ava sits down next to me and quietly says, “Speaking of good, your wife isn’t. She hasn’t been for a while. I think she has postpartum depression. I saw her last night and convinced her to see a doctor. She texted me this morning to tell me she got an appointment later this morning.”

Behind her, Eleanor sighs as she shakes her head while I try to mentally digest the news Ava just dropped on me. “Postpartum can be bad. Your mother had it with Kellen. She had to have a C-Section, and she was laid up for a while compared to with the rest of you. Your father and I were so worried about her. She was so depressed. The doctor finally told her it was postpartum depression, and for a while, they had her on some drugs to level things out. One day, it just disappeared, but for months, she was in a bad way.”

The three of us adults listen to Eleanor talk about something I knew nothing about until a few seconds ago. When she finishes, I say, “I had no idea. Did you guys?”

Matthias and Ava both shake their heads, but then she says, “I know about postpartum depression, but I didn’t know your mother had it. I told Eden last night that I think she’s been suffering from it. I’m not surprised after how much this little lady put her through for nine months.”

Jesus, I had no idea. It never occurred to me that anything was wrong with Duck. I just thought the two of us were feeling overwhelmed because Lily is our first child.

“I think that’s why she wanted to go back to work, Marius. She’s been feeling like a failure since Lily arrived. But I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. Call your wife and talk to her. I know she misses you.”

Hearing that, I jump up from my chair, nearly knocking my daughter over. “Hey, will you guys watch Lily for a few minutes? I’d like to make a call.”

Ava and Matthias agree to babysit while I walk outside into the sun to call Duck. She answers quickly, which I hope is a good sign.

“Hi, Marius.”

She sounds so sad. I hate hearing her like that.

“Hey, I’m over here at Matthias and Ava’s. Don’t be mad that she told me, but she said she thinks you’re dealing with postpartum depression. I had no idea, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t know. I would have done something if I could have.”

“It’s not you, Marius. It’s me. My gynecologist agreed to squeeze me in when I told her nurse what I was experiencing. I had no idea it could be postpartum. I’m so sorry I’ve been awful to you and to Lily. I didn’t know how to handle everything I was dealing with.”

I begin walking toward the road as my emotions get the better of me. “Duck, you haven’t been awful. I didn’t know anything was really wrong. I thought we were just having a hard time getting used to being first time parents.”

She lets out a heavy sigh. “You didn’t have a hard time. I did, baby. You’ve been great. A wife couldn’t ask for a better husband or Lily a better father. I’m so sorry. I didn’t handle this well at all, but I’m hoping today is going to be a new start for me. I want to be happy like I used to be. I love our daughter. I hope you know that.”

“Aww, Duck. Of course, I know you love her. I know you love me. I’ve never doubted either of those things. I just want you to feel better.”

I don’t mention the other thing I want because I don’t want to pressure her, but I don’t want to spend another night away from her. She’s my Duck, my wife, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

“Me too, Marius. I’ll be home right after my doctor’s appointment. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’m happy you’re coming home. We missed you last night.”

“I missed you too. I’ll see you in a little while.”

When the call ends, I’m happier than I’ve been in far too long. As long as she’s going to be okay, I’ll let her mother have whatever she wants when it comes to the wedding.

All that matters is my Duck feels better.