Page 32 of Forever King

Seriously, what the fuck is going on?

Finally, she looks at me, and I see her face is still wet from crying. “Since you seem to think you know better than me or my mother, you can take care of Lily. I’m going to a hotel. I need some time to think.”

My mouth drops open in utter shock at her words. When I find the ability to speak again, she’s already lifting the suitcase off the bed to leave, so I hurry over to her to stop this madness.

Setting my hands on her shoulders, I force her to look at me. “Eden, what the hell is going on? Where are you going? Why are you going? I never said I know better than you when it comes to Lily. You’re her mother. I love you. She loves you. What is this really about?”

Tears fill her eyes again as she answers in the saddest voice I’ve ever heard come from her, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I can’t seem to please anyone when it comes to this wedding, so maybe it’s time we admit it’s not going to happen. It’s okay. We’re already married, so it’s not a big deal. Take care of Lily.”

She tries to walk away, but I won’t let her. “What do you mean it’s not going to happen? Just because I don’t agree that your mother should keep adding guests to a list that’s already over two hundred people? Stop this and talk to me. Remember you and me against the world? That’s what it’s always been, right? Put the suitcase away and let’s talk this out.”

Shaking her head, she sniffles back the tears. “I don’t want to talk about the wedding or my working or anything about being a mother anymore. Just let me go. I can’t stay here.”

Although the last thing I want to do is let my wife leave, I lift my hands from her shoulders and watch her storm out as she cries. I have no idea what the problem is or why she has to go to a hotel, but I can’t stop her.

But what the hell did she mean when she mentioned her working and being a mother? I never said anything against either one of those things. I’ve always told her I support her choice to go back to work and that I think she’s a great mom to Lily.

Unsure what just happened, I walk down to the nursery and look in on my daughter. I wish she could talk. Maybe she could explain how a simple disagreement over Janine turned into Duck walking out on us.

I wander around our house wondering if the wedding is really not going to happen. I thought she wanted what I wanted, but now I’m not so sure.

And even worse, I have no idea why she said all those things.

12

Duck

The desk clerkgave me an odd look when I checked into this hotel. Is it written all over my face that I’m a horrible wife and mother? Was that the reason for that look?

I set my suitcase on the floor just inside the door to Room 388 and walk into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. One glance at the very pretty oval mirror above the sink tells me why that woman gave me that odd look. The mascara on my right eye’s lashes seems to be having a race to my neck with what remains on my left eye’s lashes, and the rest of my makeup appears to have settled into every crease on my face. I look a mess. She probably wanted to ask me what the hell was wrong with me but chose to be polite instead.

Even though it’s going to take a lot more than a little water to fix this, I cup my hand under the faucet and then cover my face in cool, refreshing water. It feels good, and for a second or two, I forget how terrible this night has been.

It all comes rushing back to me as soon as I stand up and see how bad I look. A minute and a couple tissues later, I don’t resemble a raccoon anymore, at least. That will do for tonight.

I walk out into the hotel room and one look at the two queen beds with the grey and black bedspreads makes me think of Marius. He always chooses the one away from the window whenever we stay in a hotel. He says it’s safer. Something about if someone crashes through the window then you won’t get hit by glass. It has never failed to make me wonder what would happen after the person actually landed in the room, which makes me think being cut by glass would be the least of my problems.

Then again, as a man, he wouldn’t think like that, so flying shards of glass would be his biggest concern.

Sitting down on the bed near the hotel room door, I lie back and stare up at the ceiling. Thank God there are no water stains, or I’d have to request another room. I can’t stand seeing that above me when I’m in bed.

I try to think of anything but the fact that my husband and five month old daughter aren’t here with me, but it’s impossible. Everything in my daily life revolves around them. They’re as integral to my existence as air and food.

Then why am I here alone without them?

The answer to that question is simple yet complicated. Those are the worst kinds of answers. I hate them even more than I hate water stains on ceilings.

My phone vibrates in my purse, and even though I don’t know what to say to Marius, I can’t stop myself from checking if it’s him. What if something happened with Lily? I may not be there, but I’d want to know. I’m her mother.

All of that runs through my mind as I scurry over to where my luggage and purse are near the door. I quickly search for my cell phone, which of course has fallen to the very bottom of mypurse, and finally lay my hand on it. I hurry to lift it out to see it’s Ava and answer it.

“Hey, Ava. What’s up?” I ask as casually as possible, knowing there’s a very good chance she already heard I’m not at my house tonight.

Few things stay a secret for long in the King family.

She doesn’t respond for a few seconds, so I have to fight the urge to fill in the dead space because I know if I do, I’ll just fall apart. I press my lips together to keep the words from tumbling out, but thankfully, she apologizes and says one of the boys needed something.

“Did Marius tell you about my idea to get together, all four of us, this week? He said he was going to talk to you about it when you got home. I meant to mention it to you, but I swear only half my brain is working lately.”