Page 39 of To Charm a Highlander

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Callum rubbed her back as she cried in his arms.The darkness in the room was overwhelming, but he dinna want to leave her to light a few candles.

She pushed away from him and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands.“Do ye understand?I’m a killer.If anyone finds out I will be hanged.”

“Nay, love.‘Tis not true.The only person who can order ye hanged is yer laird and I ken for a fact Haydon would no’ do that.Also, if ye were held against yer will and being harmed, any killing was self defense.”

So this was what the lass had been suffering with for years.Not only the abuse she endured, but that she killed her tormentor.

Donella began to rock back and forth.“I once asked Father McNeil about killing a mon.”

“And what did he say?”

“It was a mortal sin and I would go to hell.”

Callum’s brows rose.“He told ye that after he kenned ye had been missing for four days and showed up battered and bruised?”

She shook her head.“Nay.I dinna tell him it was me, I just asked what the punishment would be for killing a mon.”

“That doona make sense, lass.Men kill each other in battles all the time.”

“I mentioned that, but he said war dinna count because the men were defending their families and homes.”

Callum ran his fingers through his hair.Instead of trying to coax Donella closer to him, he began to edge a little bit at a time toward her.

Could it have been the guilt at having a killed a mon that had caused her years of hiding from herself, and everyone else?Definitely no’, he was certe.‘Twas most likely both the abuse and killing that caused her to withdraw from everyone.

Donella looked off into the distance.“He came to the cottage one night and once again,” she gulped and took a deep breath “he abused me.Then instead of leaving me tied up and the door locked as he did before, he passed out.I believe he was drunk.”She hesitated for a moment.“I took the knife at his side and plunged it into his chest.Blood was everywhere.I dinna wait but left the cottage and ran.I had no idea where I was, and my brother found me wandering in the woods.”She looked at him, her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears.“I had no idea how long I was gone until they told me.”She paused.“Can ye help me, Callum?I doona want to return to what I was before the fall knocked me out.”

“Do ye remember now how ye were during that time?”

She nodded.“Ach, yes.During that time, whene’er the picture of me plunging a dagger into the mon flashed in front of my eyes, I moved myself to my safe place.A place where no one kenned I was a murderer.‘Twas much easier to avoid everyone to keep me from yelling out what I had done.”

He thought of so many ways to help her, and so many things he could do.Again he moved closer.“Do ye feel settled enough for me to hold ye?Gently.”

‘Twas easy to see the lass was fighting within herself.He firmly believed she dinna want to return to the way she was before, but still raw from the recent return of her memory, he had to go slowly.But he kenned in his heart if they dinna make a connection now, after her memory had returned, they might ne’er do it.

To his relief, she scooted over until she placed her hand on his chest.She actually smiled.“Do ye ken when we were treating ye for the injury to yer leg, and ye were so burned up with fire, I had to cool ye off by wiping ye down with wet cloths?”

“Aye, I remember yer light, soothing touch.”

“What ye dinna ken was that the sight of yer chest and then the rest of ye when we turned ye over brought back some memories.”

He reached out and smoothed his palm down her hair.“Bad memories I assume?”

“Aye.Dorathia noticed how my hand shook and tried to get me to leave, but I was determined to help ye and no’ go back to the way I was.”

“’Twas why ye covered me last night before we fell asleep?”

She smiled.“Aye.”Glancing down from his face to his exposed chest, she said, “With all the other memories racing around my head just now, that doona seem to bother me.”

He’d been afraid since she’d awoken that her dream, bringing back her memories, might push her all the way back.

“If yer thinking what I believe ye are, husband, I’ve had enough good memories since waking up from my fall to ken that I ne’er want to go back to the way I was.The person ye see before ye is the one I was always meant to be.The one I would have turned into naturally had those things no’ happened to me.”

He opened his mouth to speak, and she held up her hand.“However, I still need yer help.Since I remember everything, I am no’ comfortable with what new husbands want.”

Whatever disappointment he felt soon turned to the love he had for this woman.With her natural strength, and her desire to have what her brothers have—a normal life—it would only be a matter of time before she became his lover as well as his wife.