Page 85 of Just Between Us

“Cassie!” comes Josie’s voice. “Come to the kitchen. Lisa and I miss you.”

I’m so stuffed I wish I’d worn leggings. It’s that unbutton your jeans, never eating again kind of stuffed. And my mind is reeling from everything that’s happened in the span of one hour.

When I joined the ladies in the kitchen, Josie dropped the bomb that she and Tyler slept together. Nobody wants to hear graphic details about their cousin’s sex life, but Josie spared nothing. Even when I put up my hand and said “I will pay you actual money to stop talking,” she laughed and kept going, little shit stirrer. Maybe this means they’ll tell Abby soon.

Then to add to the fun, Penny and Austin announced her pregnancy. My eyes turned glassy as Liam and I shared a knowing look across the room. I knew they were being weird. And sleeping that much isn’t normal without a damn good reason.

The evening is just winding down, dishes being dried and to-go plates wrapped in tinfoil, when someone steps up next to me. I know it’s Liam before I even turn. Something about the way the air shifts, or maybe I’m hyper-aware of where he is in any room.

“I’m headed out,” he murmurs, low and just for me. His arm brushes mine and the warmth of him seeps through the fabric of my sleeve. “Come to my house when you’re ready. The door’s open.”

Fire lights in my belly, a kind of excited anticipation. Liam hinted that he had plans for my birthday, but I have no idea what.

“Be there soon,” I say quietly, hoping my voice doesn’t betray the quickening of my pulse.

I can’t stop moving.

If I do for even a second, there’s a fifty-fifty chance I’ll change my mind.

The cake I mixed up earlier is in the oven. Fire pit is going. Blankets out in case she gets cold. I grabbed one of my hoodies if the blankets aren’t enough. The journal filled with poems is wrapped in brown paper and now sits on the side table between the Adirondack chairs.

The time on my phone says 7:43. She said she’d be here soon.

I pace to my living room, snapping open the blinds to check for headlights. Nothing but the silhouette of trees.

Retreating back to the deck, I adjust the flame level on the fire pit just to give my hands a job. If I stay still, I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind.

“Mutt.” I cluck my tongue. “C’mere, bud.”

He hobbles over and I squat to adjust his bow tie. It’s white and covered in the words,Happy Birthday, written in pink cursive. Mutt leaps up to lick my face, and I scratch that sweet spot, under his chin, grateful for the distraction.

“You look handsome, my man. Ready to party.”

Straightening, I shove my hands in my pockets and stare atthe wrapped journal, my stomach rolling and pitching again. I’m about to hand Cassie every broken piece of me, wrapped up with a bow.

Shit. This is a terrible idea.

What if she reads it and finally sees me for exactly what I am, not the version she’s been getting, but everything underneath I’ve held close to the chest? The parts of myself not even I want to look at. Or what if the poems about Julie make her realize I’m still stuck, caught in limbo between the past and the present? Then there’s the ones about her…what if they’re too much, too soon? A confession she isn’t ready to hear. What made me think this would make a good birthday gift? One big trauma dump disguised as a birthday present.

Headlights cut through the dark, illuminating my living room, and my stomach rolls.

She’s here.

Every instinct I have, every survival mechanism I’ve built over the last few years, screams for me to grab the journal. Hide it. Toss it in the fire and burn it. Tell her we’ll do this another night. But that’s the coward’s way out. And tonight I’m choosing to be brave. I have to be. A few seconds pass and my front door opens. Mutt is off like a rocket, running as fast as his three legs will take him to see her. But I’m stuck, watching through the glass, my feet leaden.

“Oh my god, Mutt! Look at you!” She drops to her knees, gathering him into her arms. Of course, Mutt attacks her with his tongue and she throws her head back laughing, a bright full sound that cuts straight through me. She’s so damn beautiful it hurts.

I have to do this. I have to try.

She stands and walks my way wearing a curious expression as she steps out onto the deck. I should say something, literally anything other than stand here like I’ve forgotten how words work. But the firelight is doing something to her that I wasn’t prepared for. Cast in golden light, it illuminates her, catching theline of her cheekbones, an orange glow that makes her hazel eyes look like they’re glowing.

Stepping closer to me, she’s now framed by the night sky, so many stars glittering like diamonds around her, and the part of me that’s been locked tight loosens a full turn.

“Liam?” She glances at the setup, the blankets, the fire pit, the wrapped journal, and back to me. “What’s all this?”

I try to answer, but my throat is too tight. All I’m capable of is a weak gesture for her to take a seat. I wait for her to get comfortable before lowering into the one next to her. The fire crackles, a sharp pop echoing in the silence.

“You okay?” Cassie tilts her head, searching my face, and I have to look away. I focus on the fire instead, watching the dancing flames.