Page 83 of Just Between Us

Nine days. That’s how long I have until I see her again.

Sinking back onto the couch, I flip through my current journal, years of words set to page. Most are about Julie, about agrief so raw there were nights it brought me to my knees. But scattered throughout are lighter ones. A bird I saw on a hike. The river at sunset. A night staring at the stars. And then slowly, the shift after I met Cassie.

I grin when I come to the one I wrote after we jumped at Whippoorwill.

Screaming like a banshee

She jumped.

Hand locked in mine

Like trust can be that simple.

Maybe it can?

Swallowing around the lumps that’s formed at the base of my throat, I close my eyes and say just two syllables. Out loud. For the first time in years.

“Julie.”

My eyes snap open.Oh my god. I did it.

Does her name hurt falling from my lips? Yes. But I did it. Heart pounding, I say it again, louder. But with my eyes wide open this time.

“Julie.”

The ache doesn’t disappear. Nowhere near. It may never go away completely. But something new rests alongside it for the very first time. Hope, springing up out of the darkness.

I’ve only beenin Lisa and Greg’s home a few times, but finding their game room is easy. All I have to do is follow Josie’s son’s voice. His frantic, high-pitched “Nooooo!” that echoes down the hallway.

The door is cracked, and I’m about to push it open when Jay’s voice rises for a second time.

“This time I’m gonna kick your ass.”

A choked sound follows, something between a laugh and cough, and I recognize it immediately as Liam’s.

“I’m telling Mom,” Abby’s voice cuts in.

“Then I’ll tell Mom the things you say,” Jay shoots back.

“Okay, you two,” Liam cuts in, and I can almost hear the grin in his voice. “We gotta talk about word choices.”

Smiling, I lean against the doorframe, curious where Liam will go with this.

“Why? You say way worse stuff all the time!” Jay protests.

“He’s right, Uncle Liam. You say all the words,” Abby adds from where she’s sprawled on the couch, phone in hand.

“True. But I’m grown. When you’re my age? Knock yourself out.”

“What about fourteen? Can I say them then? Jay asks. “Abby is almost fourteen and she cusses as much as you do.”

“Shut up, Jay.”

“Here’s the thing. We like gaming together, right?” A silent pause. “If your mom finds out I’m letting you cuss on the game, she’ll be pissed. And between the three of us, she terrifies me.”

Abby and Jay snicker.

“Also,” Liam continues, his voice dropping into something more serious. “Josie works hard. She has a lot on her plate. So maybe we don’t make her job harder by adding in another thing to worry about. Deal?”