Page 63 of Just Between Us

“Don’t I?” I take another drink of water, my head still spinning from that last shot. “Cassie’s seeing someone,” I say flatly. “This week is the anniversary of—well, you know. And Cassie’s seeing someone who isn’t fucked in the head.”

Ryan blinks and nods. “I see.”

“His name is Sam. He’s fucking perfect. She’s perfect. I’m sure they’ll have a perfect wedding, two perfect kids, and adopt a perfect dog.”

“You’re an idiot,” he says with a rueful laugh. “You found someone who made you happy. Got you out of your head. And instead of fighting for that, you’re here, haunted by the ghost of Julie, getting shit-faced.”

Julie’s name lands like a sucker punch. Why is it so easy for everyone else to say her name, while I still can’t? My hands squeeze into fists so tight I feel my nails cutting into my palms.Goddammit I should be better by now. Two fucking years, and each year, the anniversary of it rolls back around, it’s like a bomb goes off…and I’m right back where I was after it happened.

“Don’t bring her into this.”

“What the hell, Liam? She’s the whole reason for this, and you damn well know it. If you can’t be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. Your bed has been empty for three nights straight and you can hardly hold your head up right now.” He leans forward. “This is what you’ve done both years, and each time it only gets worse. When does it end?”

“I’m fine?—”

“You’re not. And now you’re letting the first good thing that’s happened to you in a while slip through your fingers.”

But Ryan is wrong. Dead wrong. As much as I hate it, I’m doing Cassie a favor. And I don’t have it in me to love anyone. I can’t.

I rake a hand through my hair. “I can’t do this. I’m going to take a piss.”

Standing so suddenly my chair almost topples backward, I take unsteady steps to the bathroom, flinging open the door. Two men jump, surprised, and then my eyes land on the countertop.

Thin lines of white powder and a rolled-up dollar bill lying next to them.

“Want a bump?” one of them offers, gesturing to the counter.

I’ve smoked weed since I was fifteen. It’s always helped slow my racing mind. But never have I touched the hard stuff. Not even pills.

“Nah, man. I’m good.”

Heading past them to the urinal, I do my business and leave them to it. When I reach our table, it’s empty, but then I spot Ryan at the bar. A few minutes later he’s back, tapping on his phone.

“I ordered an Uber. It’s time to head home. Come on.”

Bracing on the stool to steady myself, I take a breath and head to close my tab. But just before I reach the bar a womanturns, two beers in hand and runs smack dab into me, sticky beer spilling down both our shirts and onto the floor.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” She reaches out to steady herself and that’s when it registers who it is. Recognition dawns on her face at the same time, her jaw falling slack.

The same blonde curls from last night. The same blue eyes. And everything about them is wrong. The only eyes I want are honey gold with little flecks of green.

“Liam.”

Shit. And I can’t even remember her name. I stare at her blankly, not a single recollection where she might have introduced herself to me. It’s all a fog.

“Unbelievable. You don’t remember me, do you?”

I need a minute. Holding up a finger, I hurry to grab a handful of napkins, hand her a few for her shirt, and begin cleaning the mess from the floor.

“I do remember you.” I don’t add that her name is another story. “So…about this morning.”

We’re both standing now, her arms crossed against her beer-soaked shirt.

“You mean, you up and leaving without so much as a note?” Her voice is sharp with accusation. “I know it was just one night, but I’m a human being who deserves some kind of consideration.”

And she’s right. I know it and she knows it.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I blow out a breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now. But you didn’t deserve that.”