Page 59 of Just Between Us

Once settled, I pick up where we left off.

“And it’s not a date with Liam, because Liam and I are just friends.” I’ve said those two words so many times over the last few months, at this point they don’t sound like words anymore.

“We all thought it was more,” Penny says.

Something in my gut twists, because there were so many times I wanted it to be more. And now, I don’t know what we are. I thought we were building toward something, but I’m afraid it was all in my head. But the worst part of all is with so many days of radio silence, I’m afraid I’ve lost my best friend. “Well, you were all wrong.”

“Were we, though?” Josie leans in, brow arched. “I swear the way you two look at each other…I mean, it’s obvious he’s obsessed with you. It’s almost painful to watch.”

I reach to twist my earring and take a deep breath. “Can we not do this? Sam seems like a nice guy, and I’d like to have fun with him today.”

“He is a nice guy,” Josie agrees and Penny hums her agreement. “And nice, single men in Singing River are hard to come by. He’s smart, gainfully employed, has health insurance and a retirement plan, he’s good with kids. What more could you want?”

We all look at each other around the table and simultaneously burst out laughing.

“He’s also boring compared to Liam,” Josie finishes. “You know we’re all thinking it.”

I stand to fill each of us a glass of water, needing something to do, and rejoin them at the table. “Look. I care so much for Liam. I won’t lie, sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to be with him. But something is holding him back. I pressed him the other night. I point blank asked if there’s a reason for me not to give Sam my number. He looked me square in the face and said no.” I pause to take a sip of water. “I feel like I’m ready to get back out there. Does Sam come across as a bit boring? Maybe. But all I can do is see what happens.”

Penny and Josie exchange a look.

“What?” I demand. “What’s that look?”

Penny sighs and takes a long sip of her water. “So, you’ve noticed something is holding Liam back?”

“Um, yes. Anyone with eyes would notice. Turmoil rages inside of Liam. I’ve seen it. He’s complicated, like Jekyll and Hyde. Flirty one minute, and then it’s like a cloud falls over him.”

“Liam’s been hurt in the past, Cassie,” Penny explains. “His heart is broken.”

My heart pinches painfully, but I have to know more, no matter how much I fear what might come next. “Okay. You’re not giving me much to go off.”

“He was hurt badly, and I think that’s why he’s so…” Penny screws up her face, thinking.

“Emotionally unavailable?” Josie supplies.

“Scared,” I finish softly. That’s it. Liam is terrified. I think back to that night at the bluff, the night we met, when he looked so haunted for a moment under the moonlight. And that song I witnessed him playing the morning after I spent the night. The morning after he held me and I dreamt I heard the name Jules. But I knew damn well it wasn’t a dream.

“Jules.” I say the name aloud. “Is her name Jules?”

The following silence is deafening. Josie and Penny exchange another look, and this time I think I see something like sadness in their eyes.

“Did she, I don’t know, cheat on him? Break up with him?” It’s more than a simple break up. Deep down, I know it is.

More silence follows, and Josie’s eyes are suddenly glassy, blinking rapidly.

I look back and forth between them until Penny places her hand on mine, which I realize is shaking. Maybe I don’t want to know.

“She died,” Penny says, her voice thick. “A couple of years ago Julie died, Cassie. The anniversary is coming up.”

The words land like a clap of thunder, startling me so much I actually rear my head back.

“What?” My words are a strangled sound.

“It was a car wreck,” Josie explains.

Tears spring to my eyes and I think about all Liam must be feeling. Everything, each and every confusing moment, suddenly makes horrible, perfect sense. Even his words that night on the bluff.

We’re all gonna die eventually.