Page 57 of Just Between Us

But I’m already pushing open the door, fishing in my pocket for my smokes and lighter. I even wore one of those stupid nicotine patches today, but right now it’s not enough. The cool night air hits me just as the guy is telling Cassie something about a student. That’s right. He’s a teacher. I’ve probably seen him when I’ve gone to things for Josie’s kids. And Cassie is nodding along in genuine interest.

“Liam!” Cassie looks my way when I step out, and something crosses her face. It’s a look I can’t quite read, but then it’s gone, replaced by a too bright smile and she waves me over.

“Liam, do you know Sam?”

Sam extends his hand, a friendly smile still plastered on his face. “Hey man, great night. I’ve never seen the bar so packed.”

I wait a beat longer than necessary before I take his hand, squeezing hard and bite out a curt “Thanks.”

His smile falters but he quickly recovers. “I was just telling Cassie about some of the costumes my students wore to?—”

“That’s great, man. Really great.” I’m being a dick. I know it and they both know it.

Cassie’s eyes narrow and I can feel her looking at me. Probably trying to figure out what the hell my problem is. If she knew, would she understand? Would she get why I can’t stop falling apart, because in a matter of days it’ll be two years since everything fell apart? Two years since I learned that no matter how much I love someone, I can’t protect them. No. There’s no fucking way I can say any of that.

“Sam also told me about a fall festival at the brewery in Creekwood. It’s next week.” she says, her tone pointed, like she’s daring me to be rude again. “It sounds fun.”

“Yeah, it’s great. I go every year,” Sam adds, oblivious to the tension crackling between Cassie and me. “You both should come. There’s food trucks, hayrides, a few bands will play, the whole nine yards.”

“I’m sure Cassie would love that.” My words come out clipped.

Cassie’s mouth falls open, and I know I’ve pissed her off. But I can’t seem to reel myself back in.

Sam clears his throat and rocks back on his heels, finally picking up the vibe. “Is there a problem, man?”

“Nope. No problem. I came out here for a smoke, so you two don’t let me interrupt.”

Cassie opens her mouth to speak but I’m already backing away, cigarette between my lips.

Closing my eyes, I lean against the brick and try not to listen in on their conversation. But it’s no use. I hear every word. Sam asking Cassie for her number, something about grabbing coffee. But then she hesitates and they fall silent.

“Can I think about it? Life was messy for a bit and I’m just getting my feet under me.”

“Yeah, of course. Well, here’s mine. If you decide to, you can text me.”

I hear him call out the digits, and the door opens, voices and music spilling out from the bar, and then it’s just Cassie and me. Footsteps crunch on the gravel, and I peel my eyes open to face the music.

“What the hell was that?”

“What the hell was what?” I take a long drag on my cigarette, and blow it out from the side of my mouth, away from where Cassie stands.

Cassie snorts a derisive laugh. “Don’t play stupid, Liam. You were a dick.” Well, at least we both think so. “And Sam seems like a nice guy.”

“Maybe I just don’t like the guy.”

“Do you even know him? Tonight you talked to him all of thirty seconds. And in that thirty seconds, all you were was an ass.” Cassie’s voice rises as she speaks, letting all her anger and frustration bleed through. When I don’t respond, she stalks closer. “I think he’s nice.”

She’s so close now all I’d have to do is reach out and pull her to me, bury my face in her hair and tell her I need time. Give me more time.

“He asked for my number. He wants to take me to coffee. Maybe more than coffee.”

“Yes. I heard. Why didn’t you give it to him?”

Cassie swallows and looks up at the sky for a beat before her gaze lands back on me, searching. “Can you give me one reason I shouldn’t give it to him?”

Time stretches as the question hangs between us, unanswered. My eyes track back and forth between her golden ones; the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.

There’s so much I want to say. So many things I’ve avoided mentioning because it’s too fucking hard. What I want to say ishell yes, there’s a reason. I think about Cassie constantly. From the time I wake up till the time my head hits the pillow. She’s who I picture when I’m getting myself off in the shower and when I’m listening to whatever sappy love song happens to be playing. What I want to say is that watching her with Sam made me want to put my fist through a wall. And her dating someone him? I feel like I’m being torn apart from the inside out.