Page 83 of The Wife

I thought time would help to calm my anger. But it hasn’t abated at all. If anything, it’s grown stronger. Each cell in my body, quivering with outrage and fury at what’s happened. At the travesty of justice that’s occurred. I’m a mother. My job is to protect my children. To keep them safe from danger. From predators.

That girl. That bloody girl. She and her family were never good enough for my Toby. I should have trusted my instincts and steered my youngest boy away from her and her deadbeat trollop of a sister. Instead, I trusted him to make his own decisions. So stupid of me. Toby wasn’t prepared for Zoe Williams and her conniving ways. I’m sure she got pregnant on purpose. Trapped him into marrying her. The dates prove she was pregnant on their wedding day. All right, so I realise she wasn’t that far gone, but however she did it, she cast a spell on my beautiful boy and now our whole family is paying the price. I should have made sure she never woke up on her wedding day. That’s the biggest regret of my life.

At least Malcolm and Toby are serving their time together. Toby was given fourteen years and Malcolm was given twelve. Toby will look out for his father. But Nick… the poor boy is on his own in a different prison. He does have a shorter sentence though – only two years for his part in covering up Dina’s death – so I pray he’ll be able to bear it. But he’s not strong like Toby. He gets anxious. They’ll eat him alive in there. I can’t think about it. I gave him a pep talk beforehand. Told him to be strong. To act tough even if he doesn’t feel like it. My worst fear is that someone will hurt him. Or that he’ll grow ill with nerves. But maybe he’ll surprise me, and this will be the making of him.

I’m still not used to the night-time noises here – the snoring, moaning and coughing – so much coughing. No wonder I can’t sleep. But I’m not intimidated by these women. They’re all just doing what they need to do to get through it. Like me. And at least I have something to focus on.

I was given the longest sentence of all – sixteen years! Just because of the medications and the fact that my actions were premeditated. But, despite what my solicitor says, I’m hoping that with good behaviour my sentence might be reduced. I intend to be the model inmate. I will do everything it takes to show that I’m remorseful. That I’ve changed. That I understand what I did was wrong. I’ve told the boys to do the same. I’m attending counselling sessions, and meeting with the prison chaplain as often as I’m able. Showing everyone that I’m a reformed woman, so that I might get out of here early.

And then I will make that little bitch pay.

Zoe and her father had better enjoy what little time they have left. She may think she’s got one over on me, but she has no idea what I’m capable of. And this time I’ll be more prepared. Once it’s over and we’ve finally served our time, I’ll gather my family back up and we’ll be stronger than ever. Nick can win Madeline and the girls back and Toby will have his darling Alice and Jamie in his life once more. And then we can put this whole unfortunate episode behind us.

I let out a contented yawn, my eyes finally growing heavy. My mind soothed by the plans I’m making. Perhaps I will finally have a good night’s sleep after all.

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