Page 28 of A Second Chance Summer in Dublin

Then she hangs up, her chin quivers. ‘The house is gone, sale agreed.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I tell her.

I can see how worried she is. Even though her cut from the house should be close to half a million, Dublin is not a cheap place to live, and that’s even if you can find a place.

‘You know if I had a spare room you could live with me, but you’re welcome to my couch while you house-hunt?’ I offer.

‘Oh you’re too good, but it’s the real world now for me, no security blanket .?.?. I wanted independence and now I have it in every way .?.?. but I-I have a few thoughts .?.?. ideas .?.?. options .?.?. I— Oh, guess what? My parents are both coming to the divorce party, I thought Mammy would be too embarrassed. You know what a Holy Mary she is? Daddy told her she needs to wise up, apparently, as half the country are divorced,’ Mia says with a little shake in her voice now, and I get the distinctimpression she’d like to change the subject.

‘That’s brilliant. I can’t wait to see them.’ I move on, ‘Anyway, Donal.’

‘Sorry, yes, back to Donal.’ She settles. ‘So, what does he do? For work I mean?’

‘He’s in construction. Anyway, as you know the whole reason for the date was to ask him to be my date for your party. That was my plan but during the meal he .?.?.’

‘You didn’t ask him?’ She cups an elbow in one hand, tapping her lips with the fingers on her other; she seems somewhat agitated.

‘No,’ I say, rubbing Charlie’s head.

‘Well, just message Rebecca and ask her to ask him?’ Still tap-tap-tapping.

‘Oh I dunno,’ I sigh as Charlie pants.

She suddenly stops the tapping. ‘Up to you .?.?. but Grace, what are we doing?’

‘Huh?’ I look at her in confusion.

‘The great big Logan elephant lurking in the room that we are ignoring?’

I stop rubbing Charlie’s head and sit back to make hard eye contact.

‘What do you mean?’ I say, noticing her nibbling at the thumbnail now.

Mia lifts her arm sideways across her face, dips it up and down like a trunk but I don’t laugh. ‘We can’t just not talk about it. How are you really feeling about seeing Logan again? It must be hard? Talk to me.’ She drops her arm, puts her hands on my bare knees, the coolness off them is lovely. Dublin is literally scorching, and even though Mia’s white curtains are tied back, and the sash window pulled up fully, despite her saying there was a lovely breeze, I can’t feel a thing. Even in my lime-green cotton summer shift dress and bare feet, I feel trickles of sweatslither down my back. Or maybe it’s this conversation.

‘Honestly? Sick to my stomach but .?.?.’ I raise my glass above my head. ‘But it is what it is.’

‘I think about your relationship all the time. I mean, I know we don’t discuss it and I get that, totally!’ Mia holds both palms up to me. ‘I don’t know how he did what he did to you in Portofino, but I have asked him and—’

‘He obviously had his reasons,’ I butt in. ‘We were so happy, at least, I was .?.?. I mean .?.?.’ But not-so-happy flashbacks whirl through my mind, coming thick and fast, and it’s like Mia can see inside my head.

‘I mean you put up with a lot, Logan is no saint.’ Mia’s eyes search mine.

My emotion is bubbling. ‘I find it really hard to talk about him, Mia.’ Grossly, I feel my eyes well up. Tears sting. I try hard to blink them away.

I’m so pathetic.

Chapter Fifteen

Mia softly places her palms on both of my flushing cheeks now. The coolness is still refreshing. ‘Where are my manners, you must be hungry. I have nibbles ready for us, let me just add my garnish and I’ll bring them in here.’

Mia knows me well enough to give me a hot minute. My brain goes into Logan-overdrive. I still love him, it’s just a fact. I miss his face and his body. I miss his creativity, his ambition and his drive. I need that to rub off on me right now so I can find a way to keep my business afloat.

But Logan humiliated me. I know Donal thinks I deserve better, and he barely knows me. I try to focus on Charlie’s snuffled snores. The smell of lavender floats in from the garden. I shut my eyes to do some deep, controlled breathing as once more my memory spins back to the cheating suspicions I’ve always had.

*

‘What’s the hell is wrong with you, Gracie?’ A stark-naked Logan padded into our kitchen at midday to find me shaking like a leaf at the kitchen table, head in hands.