Page 100 of Where's My Daughter?

It was yours.

Sadie is my biological child.

The words blur, then come into focus, and I feel like I can’t breathe. The pain in my chest is unbearable. I think I might faint.

I want to stop here, but I keep reading.

You were in the bathroom early that morning, thinking your baby was still asleep. While you were gone, I noticed she wasn’t breathing. By the time you came back out, I had already switched the babies.

After giving birth, I was overwhelmed, depressed, and terrified. I didn’t want to be a mother. I didn’t believe I deserved her. You did. You always did.

That’s why I let you leave the hospital with her.

I stayed close because I loved my little girl. Giving her away didn’t mean I stopped being her mother. Watching you raise her was both my punishment and my comfort.

There were times I regretted what I did, but by then it was too late. You were already her mother in every way that mattered. You loved her and protected her. You gave her the life I couldn’t.

I watched you with her and knew I did the right thing, and I was right to stay silent.

She is my biological daughter, but you did the rest. She may not be your daughter by blood, but she is by love.

If you find her and she’s alive, please protect her. Love her the way you always have. It breaks my heart to think I may never be there to comfort her through her first heartbreak, or watch her walk down the aisle, carrying a bouquet of peach roses. But you will be there for both of us.

I’m sorry I lied. Maybe one day you’ll understand why I did what I did and find it in your heart to forgive me.

Please don’t let this truth poison what you have with her. You are her mother. You always were.

I am truly so sorry.

S.

P.S. Sadie and everyone else never has to know the truth, but that’s your call to make.

The paper slips from my fingers and falls to the deck. I don’t pick it up.

My chest aches, empty and raw, like something inside me has been torn open and can never heal. Tears run down my face, hot and unstoppable as the truth hits.

Scarlett died to save her daughter, not mine.

I finally pick up the letter, stare at the last words, then tear it to pieces.

* * *