Page 41 of A Devious Secret

“Perhaps he thought the land was worth something?”

Gemma sighed softly. “Sadly, it is not,” she replied. “Although Henry has offered to buy it from me at a generous price.”

“That was kind of him.”

“It was, but I have turned him down,” Gemma said. “I might just be sentimental, but Baldwin did want me to have it.”

Her aunt’s eyes held compassion. “Then you must not part with it.”

“I might one day have to,” Gemma said. “I can’t keep living off Henry’s generosity forever.”

“You are still the Countess of Hawkinge, and it is Lord Hawkinge’s duty to care for you,” she said. “You will always be his brother’s wife.”

Gemma’s gaze grew downcast. “I know I am being foolish, but I just want my life to go back to the way it was before Baldwin died.”

“There is nothing foolish about that.”

“I want to be happy again,” she admitted softly.

Her aunt didn’t speak for a moment. Then she said, “The happiest people are the ones that know how fleeting happiness can truly be.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Her aunt’s face softened as she asked, “Do you want to be happy?”

“I do.”

“Then you must work at it,” her aunt said. “It is not something that is just given to you. You must put forth some effort to obtain it. Happiness is not a guarantee to anyone.”

Gemma met her aunt’s gaze. “What if I never experience happiness again?”

“That is poppycock,” her aunt replied. “I have seen the way your eyes light up when you look at Mr. Wycomb.”

Gemma tensed. “No, absolutely not! I love my husband.”

Her aunt gave her a kind smile. “There is no disputing that, but Baldwin is not here anymore. You are allowed to live your life.”

“By forgetting Baldwin?” she huffed. “I think not.”

“No, you are honoring Baldwin by choosing to be happy.”

Gemma pressed her lips together. “How can I be happy without Baldwin?”

Her aunt gave her a knowing look. “Do you think Baldwin would want you to wallow in sadness?”

She shook her head.

“Baldwin loved you more than anything else in this world and he would want you to seek out happiness.”

“And you think Mr. Wycomb could bring me happiness?”

Her aunt shrugged. “I don’t rightly know. That is for you to decide.”

“Mr. Wycomb is…” Her voice trailed off as she tried to collect her thoughts. What was he, exactly? He was a solemn man, but his voice seemed to calm her raging soul.

Gemma felt herself go rigid. How could she even consider Mr. Wycomb as a suitor? She loved Baldwin, and she would not allow her fickle heart to change that.

In a steady voice, Gemma said, “I am not ready to entertain suitors.”