Page 40 of Always the Chaperone

She did not pull away. After walking in silence, she said quietly, “William, I barely know you.”

“You know me better than anyone,” he said with a laugh. “Better than my own brother, I think at times. There I was, desperate to be close to you, and he was throwing those ladies at me, none of whom I wanted to speak with. You saw that the first time you met me, Charlotte, do not pretend you did not.”

“And that first time was a few weeks ago!” Charlotte laughed, and he felt the tension in her hand. “William, I grew up with most of the nobility of England and Ireland, they are my cousins, neighbors, and friends. It was always assumed I would wed one of them.”

“But you have not!”

“Listen to me.”

William swallowed the numerous objections he wished to raise and nodded.

“For a lady of my family, you expect to know the person you marry for years before you eventually do. I do not mean an arranged marriage, although that is not unheard of. It is more…they are someone you know, your father knows, your mother knows. All his faults are a part of your own childhood. You know his family, too.”

She lifted her gaze to his, and William could see they were bright with emotion. “You…you frighten me. Not because of who you are, but because I do not know how you became the person I see before me. A few weeks? A few weeks is not long enough to decide on buying a horse, let alone choosing a husband!”

He could hear the fear in her voice. William squeezed her hand and tried to pour out the feelings overwhelming him. “Sometimes a month is all you need,” he said. “God, Charlotte, do you think I believed it would be this quick? I look at you and just know, I need you!”

“Well, I am not ready. You need to be patient.”

William could not help but groan, pure frustration overwhelming him.

It was a mistake.

“Why are you so adamant I have to make a decision now?” Charlotte pulled her hand from his but continued to walk alongside him. “There is no rush.”

“I am being honest.”

She frowned as they passed a window with light streaming through it. “As am I, William, but I do not see why you cannot listen.”

“I want you.” Even as he snapped, William felt the stupidity of it, but could not stop himself. “Charlotte, I am tired of going over this—I want you, and until I have you, I will keep fighting for you.”

“Fighting who? Me? Are we at war? Do not try to convince me of your overwhelming affection for me!”

William swore under his breath. This was not how it was meant to happen, not what he intended, but the desire and the need for her tested his patience.

“Look, it is not as though I don’t have other options!” He cursed himself the second the words left his mouth.

“Well, that is a relief, for I was concerned you may die alone!” Charlotte shot back. “I knew this was a mistake. I should have gone back inside the Assembly Rooms and listened to Mozart.”

Was there a greater fool in the world than he? What had he been thinking?“Wait, Charlotte!”

But she was almost running away. “You do not have to use me to pass the time until you meet another potential conquest, Your Grace. I shall keep you no longer.”

He caught up with her, and there was genuine pain across her face. Christ in Heaven, how could he say he cared about her and then wound her within the same breath?

“It is not like that!”

“And I am sure we can find someone prettier, younger, and more charming in the recital,” she snapped as they turned the corner. “Give your brother two minutes. He never takes long!”

“Stop!” he said.

It was fortunate for William that there was no one else on the street, for they would have been horrified at the way he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to stop and look at him.

Both breathless from arguing, William fought the desire to crush her into his arms and kiss that argumentative mouth. This was not the time to display his passion. He needed to make this right.

“If you loved me,” he said in a voice far calmer than he felt, “then none of this would matter.”

Was it his imagination, the way Charlotte avoided his gaze? Or was it merely shyness?