Page 34 of The Billionaire Mismatch

“Until now,” Henry says, and I roll my eyes. Then he gets serious. “We’re on in thirty seconds,” he says, and we all shuffle around.

Then I take a deep breath and switch hats once again. I’m starting to feel like a one-woman circus act.

“Hello everyone, and welcome back to Unmatched, the only podcast dedicated to deleting the apps and putting yourself out there the old-fashioned way. I am Olivia Ramone.”

“And I’m Kiersten K,” she jumps in.

“And we are diving even deeper today into our Right Swipe, Wrong Person series dedicated to everyone’s nemesis–catfish.”

“Speaking of that,” Kiersten cuts in again, this time not rehearsed. “We are trying something a little different. Because what better way to show what catfish are really like than a live demonstration?”

Oh dear.

Not that I didn’t think we were doing this, but reliving it is more painful than I remember. Especially considering the current events. Still, I let her go on. What else am I going to do?

“If you listened to our last episode, then you already know Olivia has been going out with someone new. Someone you all know. And while he may be 6 foot…” She looks at me.

“Six three,” I mumble.

“And his real-life body looks more photoshopped than the average profile picture; he is lying about one thing. And that is his interest in his dates. In love. In connection,” she goes on. “When people think of catfish, they think of the date who shows up shorter than they said, less attractive than their photos showed, or maybe a different job than they vaguely claimed to have. The engineer you were expecting actually just fixes ice cream machines at fast-food chains. They make six figures, but the first three are zeros. You know the type. But what we don’t talk about, what needs to be talked about, are the catfish who string you along for a while with ill intentions. They pretend to be who you want them to be, and then when they get what they want, they ghost you and move on to their next victim. And that, as much as you all don’t want to hear it, is exactly who the CEO of everyone’s favorite dating app is turning out to be. And as all of you know, Olivia was asked out on a second date last night. And lucky for you, we get to hear all about it right now.”

Kiersten stops and looks at me. And as much as I want to crawl under the table and pretend none of this is happening, I know I can’t back out now.

“The rumors are true,” I say. “I was asked out on a second date and yes, we went out. And…he was charming.”

“Unmatched Dating 101: Rule #19, everyone,” Kiersten cuts in. “Charm is dangerous. Charm is how snakes hypnotize their prey. Never trust charm.”

“Honestly, he took me to a very high-end speakeasy; the food was great, and the conversation was fun. He checked all the boxes,” I go on before Kiersten hops back in again.

“Sounds like five stars. A real ten out of ten.”

Honestly…yeah. It was.

“But you know what they say about tens,” she says. “They’re suspicious. Not to be trusted. Fishy, if you will.”

Or decent guys?

My head is spinning as Kiersten goes on about men with ill intent and ulterior motives. Meanwhile, the callers are ringing in like crazy.

“It looks like we have a lot of listeners with thoughts on all of this,” Kiersten says. “Why don’t we see what they have to say?”

Henry sends one through the line.

“Hello, what’s your name?” I ask.

“Deanna,” the girl answers eagerly.

“Hi Deanna. What are your thoughts?” I ask.

“I have been listening since the beginning, and I want to ask the question I feel like we are all wondering about,” she says.

“And what is that?” Kiersten asks. But I know what it is. And guessing by the smirk on Kiersten’s lips, I am pretty sure she knows too.

“Did you sleep with him?”

“He kissed me and he said goodnight,” I say, and Deanna ughs into the phone.

“My thought exactly,” Kiersten says. “He’s obviously stringing her along. To get what he wants.”