“Okay, I’m going to need some background info here,” he says, and I bite the inside of my cheek before leaning forward.
While he waits for me to talk, I pull out my phone, pull up her podcast, go to the current series and click the episode with the phone call. I stare at Matt while he listens, and he stares back at me in disbelief. When it’s over, he wipes a hand over his mouth.
“So you had no idea that conversation was live on her podcast?”
“Nope,” I answer. “And it gets better…”
I skip ahead to a later episode, and Matt’s expression spirals even more.
“This is insane,” he says, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair as I put my phone down. “Is there more?”
“They recorded another episode yesterday, but I didn’t listen to it. I couldn’t stomach it. And if I had to guess, it only gets worse,” I say.
“Wild,” he shakes his head. “I mean…don’t take this the wrong way. But I feel like we could have seen it coming. A mile away, really. I mean, it can’t possibly be a surprise to you that she was using you.”
“In the beginning,” I tell him. “She was playing a game. Yes. And so was I. But things changed,”
“For you, maybe,” he says, and I resume my glare.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I bark.
“Oh, come on, Luca. I told you that things were going too far. That if you muddied the waters with feelings, things were going to get, well, muddy. And that’s exactly what happened, isn’t it?”
I don’t say anything. I just clench and unclench my jaw.
“I’m sorry, boss, but I don’t know what you expected. I told you to be careful.”
“I was careful,” I snap with far more emotion than I intended. I lean back again. “I went slow. I didn’t show too much too soon. I didn’t give too much too soon. Everything that happened between us happened organically.” I tell him, and as soon as I say the word, I hate myself for it.
Organic is a very Olivia Ramone word to use.
“Sounds to me like you got duped, boss,” he says. “Sorry.”
“It just doesn’t make any sense,” I say. “How she could be so good at faking…all of it.”
“Girls are savage,” Matt says indifferently.
“Not Olivia,” I argue. “She’s the most authentic woman I have ever met. I don’t see how she could fake something like that.”
“Easy,” Matt says. “She’s a catfish.”
And I think about that. Because he’s right. I said those exact words to her before she left. I made sure she heard it, saw it, and felt it. I wanted her to feel a sliver of the pain her deceit caused me.
“Have you tried talking to her?” he asks.
“What do you mean? We talked about everything. It was a blowout,” I reiterate.
“No I mean, have you let her explain herself?” He says.
“Explain herself?” I scoff. “How could she possibly explain herself?”
“Oh, I don’t know. But maybe there’s more to the story. If the two of you are really in love, I mean,” Matt says, and I shoot him a dagger of a look.
“I’m not in love with her,” I snap. “Not anymore.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how that works…” he says. “If it was love, which you made it seem like it was, you can’t just turn it off.”
“I can when I find out it was all fake,” I argue.